Aging with grace
‘It’s unfortunate that we can’t hang on to the most important thing in the world — youth. But we can face aging head-on, depending on how we approach it.’
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Daily Tribune‘It’s unfortunate that we can’t hang on to the most important thing in the world — youth. But we can face aging head-on, depending on how we approach it.’
Exactly a week ago, Binibining Pilipinas Charities Inc. chose another set of winners: Gwendoline Meliz Soriano of Baguio for Miss International and Sasha-Juli Belle Lacuna of Tarlac for Miss Globe. Three weeks before the coronation night, pageant organizers also gave their very first Hall of Fame award.
Officially called the Binibining Pilipinas Sisterhood Hall of Fame, Miss Universe 1969 Gloria Diaz became the first recipient of this award that will be given annually — with succeeding winners to be chosen from the Binibining Pilipinas roster of alumnae. Gloria showed up at the ceremonies held at Novotel and brought the house down with her acceptance speech (it was posted on DAILY TRIBUNE’s online site by Jeff Fernando).
Speaking before pageant fans, Gloria recalled how — more than a decade ago — she accidentally bumped into Ruffa Gutierrez, a Binibining Pilipinas (World) alumna herself. Ruffa was then with her two still-young daughters — Lorin and Venice. As Ruffa introduced Gloria to her children, the former Miss World runner-up said: “She’s Miss Universe!”
The two kids looked at Gloria closely before saying: “That was before, right?” Ruffa must have wished for the earth to open up and swallow her at that precise moment. She was so embarrassed for Gloria. But one has to give it to Gloria. She did not feel insulted at all and even found the innocent remark of Ruffa’s daughters quite cute and amusing.
The crowd was also very amused by Gloria’s speech that evening and laughed hard over her story. The organizers of the event, however, weren’t exactly charmed by the outfit Gloria wore when she was presented with her award: a short black dress with a yellow shawl. They felt she could have shown up in a more formal outfit.
But even if Gloria’s dress seemed to have begged for a little more ironing, there was no denying she still looks fabulous 57 years after she was crowned the most beautiful girl in the universe. Gloria is now 75. To her credit, she has aged quite gracefully. How did she do that? She continued to be relevant.
After crowning her successor in 1970, Gloria stayed abroad and didn’t return until she got a movie offer in 1974 — the blockbuster hit Ang Pinakamagandang Hayop sa Balat ng Lupa. For the first few years of her film career, she was marketed as a sex goddess. Realizing she couldn’t be forever alluring, she shifted to drama and, later, even comedy. So far, she has a number of awards in her collection, including one from the Manunuri ng Pelikulang Pilipino for playing Yul Servo’s mother in Batang West Side.
But why does she still have a huge following as a mid-septuagenarian? Everyone is still interested in what she will say next. People want to hear her opinion. Never mind if her views sometimes get her into trouble. If you ask me, that is why Gloria continues to age gracefully. She remains in the public consciousness.
It’s unfortunate that we can’t hang on to the most important thing in the world — youth. But we can face aging head-on, depending on how we approach it.
This writer asked some members of a profession where youth is a prime asset — actors. On the big screen, their faces are enlarged, exposing every line and wrinkle. It is a very cruel medium.
The first one I asked was Marita Zobel, who had the sweetest and most youthful face in the late 1950s. Marita is now 85. Of course, she has aged. But her face remains beautiful — as small as a saucer.
When did she realize that age had caught up with her? It happened during a taping for a drama anthology on television when she was a few years shy of being 60. There was no script, and the dialogue was only being dictated by the director (that bad working habit happens on TV and in the movies). In the scene, Marita was made to stand in front of the camera. Behind her were background actors (the new term for extras). She had no dialogue. Only the background actors were made to speak. And what did they say? “Kawawa naman ‘yung matanda. Iniwan nu’ng mga anak. (Poor old woman. She was abandoned by her children.)”
That line hit her like a bolt of lightning. “Matanda na pala ako. (So, I am already old.),” she muttered to herself. But she recovered quickly.
So that she didn’t feel old, she vowed to herself that she would continue learning new things. She started painting and joined a church group to stay active. Now a widow (her late husband was Boy Roxas, a famous basketball player in the late 1950s), she spends time with her two sisters and a cousin. They eat out and make sure they see each other every week to keep themselves abreast of what’s going on in the world.
If she has a problem, she sleeps on it, and when she wakes up, whatever is bothering her has already been resolved — or resolved itself. Her biggest secret to aging gracefully: No expectations. That way, she doesn’t get disappointed and is able to continue her own merry way while still looking beautiful.
In the case of Divina Valencia, the former sexpot has her own secret to aging gracefully. Of course, she no longer has her hourglass figure. But at almost 80 — on 1 September this year — her face has minimal lines and wrinkles (no Botox, she swears). During the mid-1960s, she was the biggest box-office draw after Susan Roces and Amalia Fuentes. She was also the leading lady of the biggest action stars of the era, including Fernando Poe Jr.
According to Divina, she never put it in her head that she was a popular movie star. She just kept working and working. And so, when the time came that a fresh batch of young actresses came along — Rosemarie Sonora, Helen Gamboa, Pilar Pilapil and Jeanne Young — she never felt insecure.
By the time she did Dyesebel in 1973, Divina had already accepted the fact that she had been relegated to supporting roles — unlike in the 1960s when she was the lead in every film. The role of Dyesebel was already assigned to Vilma Santos, who was about to turn 20. Although she was only 27 at the time, Divina had to settle for the part of Djangga, the head mermaid.
Did she feel bad that she had to settle for secondary parts? No, she said, because that’s the nature of the business. After all, so she stressed, she had her time when she was big in the movies.
Still considered a major figure in entertainment is Helen Gamboa, who turned 81 last May. If she still looks good to this day, it is because she made a conscious effort to age gracefully. When Metro Manila roads were not yet in disarray, she would walk from her house in White Plains, Quezon City, to Valle Verde in Pasig to visit her mother-in-law, the late Dr. Herminia Castelo Sotto.
Helen has also tried every exercise fad through the years: Jane Fonda aerobics, Pilates, CrossFit and even lifting light weights. Her secret to aging gracefully? Wearing sunscreen — even in the house!
Like any typical Pinay, Helen also wears dusters, those loose house dresses. But on Helen, dusters still look glamorous. It’s in the manner she carries them — basically how she carries herself. Even at home, her children swear, Helen moves with grace and never loses her composure.
And believe it or not, she has several pieces of sexy lingerie in her closet — given to her by her husband, Senator Tito Sotto. To Helen, aging gracefully is all in the attitude — a state of mind. Sure, she already has her share of health issues. But she continues to embrace the art of aging gracefully and is still successful at it.
When Gloria Romero was still alive, she told me that aging is most cruel when one is in show business. When she was only in her early 30s, she had to play mother to Gina Pareño even if the difference between them was only a mere 12 years. But those were already the roles that came her way when she stepped into her 30s.
Gloria admitted to me that it pained her for a while whenever she’d hear comments from strangers who said, within hearing distance, “how Gloria Romero had gotten old.” At one point in her life, she realized that she had only two choices: accept the fact that she had aged and continue with her work doing mother and, later, grandmother roles, or leave show business completely and disappear from the limelight.
She chose the first, but managed to age gracefully — to the amazement of several generations of movie fans. Until her death at 91, Gloria Romero still looked queenly, having aged gracefully.
