Catwalk gawk: Who are hot? Who are not?

Full-packed Mall of Asia Arena, check. Male and female models, in various shapes, sizes and nationalities, double check. Stars bringing in the oomph and stellar wattage, triple check. And yes, the Southeast Asian Pop Superstar Group, SB19, with an electrifying performance of their hit song, “Dam,” quadruple check!

The Bench Body of Work was a fashion extravaganza that was excessive, overlong and repetitive to the point of boredom. Still, this marketing ploy and PR blitz bring the people to watch the much-missed spectacle of brawn, body, beauty and undergarments.

The shrieks and shouts from the beholden audiences are undoubtedly great indicators on who’s white star hot, newbies and forgettable.

Hot moments

Hottest catwalk moments included Alden Richards who teased with his jumpsuit unbuttoned one strap at a time, white undershirt reveal, removal and the smooth, creamy skin and toned body, spreading his arms in a pose of liberation.

Lolong star Ruru Madrid, in his half-naked glory, elicited instantaneous positive crowd reaction. His muse and inamorata, Bianca Umali, thanks to Madrid, earned her desired acknowledgement.

Pinoy in body structure and height, but knowing how to make his onstage moment count, Edgar Allan Guzman pulled off his underwear to show buttocks, smooth and white.

Two Sparkle boys also made their impressive stage marks — Bruce Roeland and the Royce Cabrera.

Still hot in a daddy kind of way, Jake Cuenca’s grand entrance on a motorcycle commanded attention and appreciation. His behind, though, has seen perkier and plumpish days.

Joshua Garcia was all dressed up yet his boyish charm, impressive height and superstar presence stirred up the Arena audiences and gifted him with collective screams.

Catwalk scene stealer who vogued his way to the hearts of the people was Nunoy Revlon, He slayed! He sashayed! You nailed it, queen!

Kirk Bondad, mighty, meaty, towering and that insane pelvic thrust, this man was on fire and gave fever to all.

Of the seasoned mamas, Ina Raymundo, the original Sabado Nights girl, was hotter than hot in an all-white underwear number.

Janine Gutierrez was a scorcher in her all-black lingerie ensemble. Classy, statuesque, she was the personification of a modern-day Aphrodite, goddess of love and beauty.

Loved the girl on girl, I want to hold your action by Kaila Estrada and Rere Madrid, who wowed with their curves and poise.

The only love team that mattered and received warm response were Francine Diaz and Seth Fedelin.

The Muhlach twins, Atasha, confident and graceful; and Andres, looking like a Disney prince plus his belly button peek-a-boo, had a catwalk moment that received cheerful action.

It was a spark of genius to have Olympian gold medalist Hidilyn Diaz in one of the re-runway golpe de gulat!

There is no doubt that the Queen of the Night was Kathryn Bernardo, who sparkled and sizzled on the catwalk with her crystal studded brassiere and micro-mini skirt worn with a Marilyn Monroe-esque aura, gait and vibe.

Pablo Nase, Josh Cullen Santos, Justin de Dios, Stell Ajero and Ken Suson, hands down, were the kings of the Bench Body of Work show.

Aside from bringing their A game during their first-ever major event performance of “Dam,” they also ruled the catwalk with their Neric Beltran outfits and Raf Villas accessories.

Special mention to Ken Suson, dubbed as the Pambansang Guapo, who was too sexy for his silver-hued get up and walked on the runway like a highest paid male supermodel in the tradition of Marcus Schenkenberg, David Gandy and Sean O’Pry.

Kudos as well to 7 Doigts, the Canadian performers who displayed their artistry and expertise in air dancing, acrobatics and gymnastics.

Forget us not

This bunch may have the online followers and “next in line,” “popular” labels, according to their network press releases. However, the bafflement with the propaganda about them comes from the fact that there was no authentic and instant reaction when they appeared on the catwalk. And that only when their names were flashed on the screen monitors did the Arena public recognize them: “Ay! Si ano, sila pala iyan.”

Sophia Pablo and Allen Ansay, teen love pair from Sparkle; Diego Gutierrez, Robbie Jaworski and Kelvin Miranda, a not so impactful trio.

For all his alpha male posturing and bulky body that made him look pint-sized, Derrick Monastario did not receive the love.

Another diminutive man on the catwalk, Teejay Marquez, resorted to an erotic gesture to elicit crowd response. Marquez was best in male pag-kendeng (sashaying) though.

All the seasoned beauty queens and their body parts that can no longer defy gravity were most evident with Ariela Arrida, Celeste Cortesi, Gazini Ganados and Michelle Dee.

Dee, who is in her blonde hair era, looked like a transwoman proud of her transitioning that her movements on the catwalk were so “binakla (softened)” and not like her usual supermodel ways.

Jameson Blake needed to do his photo posing and a little skin teasing act before everyone noticed it was him onstage.

It was a wasted opportunity for Kyle Echarri who appeared in a Timothee Chalamet, all-black ensemble rip-off. Whatever happened to the Echarri who bravely shows off his body on his social media platforms?

Lovi Poe was eclipsed by her long tulle trail!

Max Collins, despite her prettier than pretty face and toned physique, did not create a stir.

And, yes, though David Licauco received his share of love, copying Alden Richards’ half naked stunt, he displeased a majority of his followers and casuals since, in previous pictorials, he already posed wearing only Bench skivvies. It seems that walking on the runway in underwear as his costume is no longer possible because of his Pambansang Ginoo branding.

Wishful thinking

What we wish to see? More male and female models with all-natural body types. Male models with dad bods and plus-sized femme fatales. More Filipino-looking catwalk personalities and more kayumanggi-toned models.

A shorter, tighter runway program with original Filipino music with the Manila Sound era and P-pop as the runway ditties.

Without a doubt, the Bench Body of Work was a success. It is hoped that because of the underwear extravaganza, their loyal Bench supporters and curious new buyers will troop to their stores, unlock their purchasing power and grab their pairs and more.