In a recent interview for a Mother’s Day special video of the DAILY TRIBUNE, I was asked a simple question: “What’s your favorite moment with your mom?”

Almost instantly, I recalled an out-of-the-country trip with my mother, Jenina, and my sister, Fatima, as if it had happened only yesterday. It was in November 2017 when we traveled to South Korea.

During the trip, my mother would always call my attention whenever she saw something she knew I would like or something that would amuse me. “Jay, tignan mo, may snow.” “Jay, tignan mo, ang ganda nung shoes. Bagay sa’yo.” “Jay, kain tayo niyan, mukhang masarap.”

At the time, I thought those were ordinary gestures from a mother. But as I grew older, I realized how deeply familiar she was with the things I loved and the way I thought. Even now, writing about those moments brings tears to my eyes.

It is true that you miss someone more deeply when you lose her. It is also true that you only fully realize her sacrifices and hardships after she is gone. I lost my mother in 2023, and to be completely honest, Mother’s Day has never been the same since then. The memories remain cherished, reminiscing has become inevitable, and wishing I could have done more for her continues to linger in my heart.

I know I had shortcomings as a son. There were moments when I failed to understand her whenever we argued about certain things. Today, I finally understand the saying, “Mom knows best,” because I would not be who I am now without her guidance and unconditional love.

If there is one thing I can still do for her today, it is to make sure that I give my best in life because that was all she ever wanted for me — to see me succeed. She constantly reminded me to study hard because she believed education was the key to getting ahead in life.

Despite all the financial struggles our family went through, I never fully felt them growing up because she always made it seem like there was more than enough for the family. I always had transportation to school, enough money to buy good and healthy food, and, most importantly, she invested in giving me and my siblings the best education possible.

Life after loss

I never realized how difficult life could be until we lost her. I never knew how hard life would become without her because she was always there to save me from problems I could not handle on my own.

It was also my mother who taught me compassion — to help those in need and to never step on other people just to get ahead.

We often argued because of her overprotectiveness. She would not allow me to attend some sleepovers with friends or even out-of-town trips when I was in high school. But now that she is gone, I find myself missing those conversations when she would tell me, “‘Wag ka na sumama diyan, delikado, baka ano mangyari sa’yo.”

Back then, I always knew I had her behind me. I was reckless at times. I would even take the car out at midnight without her knowing.

Now that I make my own decisions in life, I often find myself thinking, “I hope you are still here to guide me through the difficult decisions I face today.” After all these years, I still long for your opinion and guidance.

Mom, all you ever wanted for us was the best. I will continue striving to fulfill those dreams. And wherever you are now, I hope I am making you proud. I will continue doing my best until I reach my goals, until I can provide the best life for my family, and until I can help less fortunate people, just as you always did.