Female friendships in your 20s: How to keep them alive?
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Surprising our friend, Pam, in the office for her birthday
This Women’s Month, let’s celebrate not just the power of womanhood but also the incredible friendships we’ve built with the women in our lives. Our girlfriends — the ones who stay by our side through thick and thin — are the people who make the challenges of adulthood a little easier to conquer. While making new friends is always exciting, nurturing long-lasting relationships is a different kind of magic. As someone who has kept friendships for years, especially in my 20s, here are some valuable lessons I learned on how to keep those bonds strong despite life’s constant changes.
After graduating college, my friends and I naturally drifted apart — not emotionally, but physically. We started living different lives, navigating our careers, and adjusting to adulthood. Between working full-time, managing expenses, and handling new responsibilities, our schedules rarely aligned. Yet, one thing remained constant — our bond.
The truth is, low-maintenance friendships are often the strongest. You don’t have to talk every day or meet every weekend to keep the connection alive. Sometimes, it’s just about making the most of the time you do get to spend together. Our generation calls it “The Casual Hang” — casual meet-ups with no grand plans, just meaningful moments. Whether it’s a quick lunch, an impromptu dinner, or a random catch-up at home, these moments become small but powerful reminders of how valuable friendships are.
It doesn’t matter if you only get to see each other once every few months; what matters is that you make the time count. Friendships built on understanding, patience, and genuine love will always find a way to stay strong despite life’s busyness.
One of the most important things I’ve learned about being a good friend is understanding the difference between hearing and actually listening. When my friends are having a rough day, venting about work, or simply sharing what’s on their mind, I make it a point to really listen — not just to reply, but to understand.
Validating their feelings, even when you can’t solve their problems, makes a huge difference. It shows them that their experiences and emotions are seen and heard. However, part of being a good friend also means holding them accountable when they’re in the wrong. It's not always about agreeing with them but being honest enough to tell them the truth when necessary.
Being a young adult navigating the reality of life, I’ve learned that empathy and honesty go hand-in-hand. True friendship is about showing genuine care — not just when it’s convenient but especially when it’s needed the most.
One of the hardest realities about friendships is learning that your principles and beliefs won’t always align — and that’s perfectly okay. Whether it's about politics, social issues, lifestyle choices, or personal values, differences will always exist. The key is learning how to coexist without compromising your own values.
It’s not about forcing each other to agree on everything but rather finding common ground and respecting each other’s differences. Healthy friendships allow space for diverse opinions without causing division. At the end of the day, you became friends because of who they are — not because you shared the same opinions. Embracing those differences is what makes friendships even more special.
Friendship is a two-way street, and while it’s easy to rely on your friends for love and support, it’s equally important to be the source of their joy, too. Ask yourself — when was the last time you made an effort to make your friends feel loved and appreciated?
It doesn’t have to be extravagant or expensive. Simple gestures like sending a heartfelt message, planning a surprise, or being present during their tough days already mean the world. Sometimes, it’s just about being there for them when they least expect it — showing up when they’re down, listening when they need to vent, or celebrating small victories with them.
It’s easy to assume that they know how much they mean to you, but reminding them through thoughtful actions is what keeps the friendship alive. After all, friendship isn’t just about what they do for you; it’s also about what you do for them.
As women, we carry so much love within us — and sometimes, the best way to express that love is by nurturing the friendships we hold dear. In our 20s, life gets messy, schedules clash, and priorities shift. But the friendships that are built on understanding, honesty, and genuine care will always stand the test of time.
So, here’s to our girlfriends — the ones who stay, the ones who inspire, and the ones who make life a little less heavy.
