Ice cream tax
We’re already taxing ice cream, by the way. You buy it, there’s the VAT. You import it, there are customs duties and import VAT. Ice cream has never learned its lesson.
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We’re already taxing ice cream, by the way. You buy it, there’s the VAT. You import it, there are customs duties and import VAT. Ice cream has never learned its lesson.
They want ice cream covered under the sweetened beverage tax.
Who drinks ice cream? If you’re drinking ice cream, something has gone terribly wrong with your freezer. Or terribly right if you’re looking for another way to tax it.
We’re already taxing ice cream, by the way. You buy it, there’s the VAT. You import it, there are customs duties and import VAT. Ice cream has never learned its lesson, so now they want to stop its excessive consumption — with another tax. Maybe stop excessive taxation first?
And why call it a beverage tax? Call it the “things we don’t want you eating” tax. That’s much more honest. Because once the rule is “it’s for your health,” there is no reason to stop at sugar.
Lucky Me! Cake, lechon, sisig are finished! Chips. 3-in-1.
A congressman tasted 3-in-1 and discovered it was sweet. It was extremely sweet! He said the sugar went up to his brain and woke him up!
And what did Congress discover when it woke up? Your coffee is too sweet!
This is your representative. Millions of Filipinos have been drinking 3-in-1 forever. Security guards, construction workers. You sent him to Congress to better your life, then he tasted your breakfast and he’s horrified.
Now yogurt. Beautiful breakfast. Very healthy. Put it in a nice little cup. Slap “Greek” on it. Very important. Greek.
Add berries, chia seeds. Nobody knows what chia seeds do, but rich people are very confident about it.
P270. Perfect. You eat it at High Street wearing Lululemon, and the government leaves you alone. But freeze the damn thing? Whoa! What are you doing?
Frozen yogurt, even unflavored froyo, is on the proposed list. Unflavored! Didn’t add toppings, didn’t add syrup. What happened? It got cold. Never freeze yogurt in this country.
Sorbetes will not stand a chance.
Guy pushing a cart down the street, little bell, kids running after him. P40. Government sees this and is now very worried about public health. Huge mistake, tatay. Don’t call it dirty ice cream.
Call it handcrafted Filipino frozen dairy. Artisanal. Say cacao instead of chocolate. P320. Now it’s not diabetes.
Don’t sell it from the cart. Put it in BGC. Very important. Air conditioning alone removes half the sugar. Maybe write probiotic on the wall. Probiotic sorbetes!
Daughter of congressman walks past: “Dad, healthy!”
Ice cream is getting the sin tax treatment. Some lawmakers are looking at 3-in-1, too. Right there in the world of cigarettes, alcohol and all the other things the government tells you are terrible, awful, bad for you. Please don’t consume them.
Unless you pay. Then we can work it out.
A father buys a tub on his daughter’s birthday to make it special. Where is the sin?
“Because ice cream isn’t necessary. We can live without it.”
Boom! We can live without Congress, too. Movies, ketchup, vacations, flowers, balloons — none of these things keeps the heart beating, but they make all that beating worth something.
There are many ways to make life healthier. By all means, you can sleep eight hours, exercise and eat vegetables. You can avoid salt and cigarettes. You can do all these things and still have to wake up in the Philippines, where avoiding stress generally requires avoiding the Philippines.
If a little ice cream makes the day nicer, let the poor bas**rd have his ice cream.
There are not so many beautiful things you can buy for P40 anymore. But there is ice cream. For a little while, nothing is required of you except to eat it before it melts.
Then the government noticed you’re smiling.
Naturally, there’s a proposal to tax it.
