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Portrait of Vernon Velasco

Vernon Velasco

Vernon Velasco's humorous, observational style blends wit, irony and dark comedy. Drawing from his own experiences, he offers sharp insights into human nature and the awkwardness of everyday life, often exploring themes of family, culture and personal flaws. His writing is conversational and self-deprecating, balancing uproarious humor with moments of vulnerability and introspection. His distinct voice captures the absurdities of life, making readers laugh while also prompting deeper thought.

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I think I know where Bato is

I think I know where Bato is

Bato! Never trust a man who says he’d die for you. Ask if he’d stay poor for you. Much tougher question. Especially when that man has a wife.

‘BRP Tarriela’ — Make it happen!

‘BRP Tarriela’ — Make it happen!

If we name it after Jay Tarriela, we honor a very specific Philippine habit: refusing to shut up when a much bigger country would greatly prefer that we did.

115 AND LOOKING GOOD

115 AND LOOKING GOOD

A toast, then, to 115 years. To the people who made them count. And to everything that comes next.

Transparent cheating?

Transparent cheating?

Very radical. Your money — and you’re allowed to see where it went.

NDRRMC scares rain out of me

NDRRMC scares rain out of me

Government wants your attention? They have it. Instantly. We finally found a government service with no fixer.

P950 passport wants to be P1,500

P950 passport wants to be P1,500

LAW SAYS THEY CAN RAISE THE FEE ONLY EVERY THREE YEARS. RAISE IT NOW, THEN THE FANCY NEW PASSPORT COMES IN 2028, ‘CAN WE RAISE IT?’ ‘WE JUST DID.’

Justice, give or take

Justice, give or take

Bongbong has shown us he can arrest cousin Martin. Now show us that he can jail Martin.

THE Department of Public Works and Highways (DPWH) said it will retrofit the structurally weakened Calbiga Bridge using leftover materials from the San Juanico Bridge upgrade despite the lack of a specific 2026 budget allocation.

Intelligence funds

Heads, they win. Tails, they still win. Coin lands on its edge? They need a bigger budget to investigate the coin.