Recently, violent games have come under fire from parents because of situations happening around the country.

As someone who often plays violent games, I can’t say my experiences match that assumption.

I’m a girl who plays a variety of games, from cute, comfy and cozy games to very competitive or violent ones. And that doesn’t make me a bad person. My mom knows what games I play, and she doesn’t have a problem with it because she knows I wouldn’t do anything beyond what I see in a game.

I’ve been a gamer since high school, and as an adult, I use games to escape from life. But the games I play don’t necessarily affect me or the way I think or act. Sure, I play games that involve guns and violence, but I know that hurting others is bad.

I’m not arguing that every person will have the same relationship with video games that I do. I’m simply questioning whether we should assume that everyone does.

We are quick to blame the game, but we should also look beyond it. Factors like a person’s actions, personality, environment and circumstances can completely change how something like a video game can affect their life.

If a person is already inherently violent, then it isn’t entirely the game’s fault. Someone may also have grown up in an unsafe environment or in a place where they see violence and other harmful things on a day-to-day basis. These are factors we can look at when assessing how much a game may actually affect someone.

But there will also be an argument from parents or others who say, “My child wasn’t like that. They only became like that because of the game.”

That’s where parental supervision can come into play, especially since games are often catered to certain age groups. Even though we all know that, with games being more accessible nowadays, people can simply pick one up and play it.

This is where parents can intervene and explain that a game may be too violent or simply not age-appropriate for their child.

One study found that while there was no significant relationship between violent video games and aggressive behavior, there was a negative relationship with prosocial behavior. It also found that boys who preferred aggressive games were more aggressive and displayed less prosocial behavior.

This won’t necessarily be true for every child. But that’s the thing: we all have different relationships with the games we play.

Our behavior outside of a game does not inherently reflect what we do or see inside one. A game can influence someone, but it is only one part of a much bigger picture.