There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Oh, definitely not in show business where a lot of temptations to go wayward abound.

The Fernando Poe, Jr. (FPJ)-Susan Roces union was far from ideal. But their marriage endured till death did them part.

On this day of hearts, The Butcher will try to analyze why the Poe marriage lasted 36 years in spite of FPJ’s dalliances that resulted in children born out of wedlock. Surely, the couple would have stayed married longer if FPJ did not die in 2004.

Courtship and early beginnings

Let’s begin with how their romance bloomed.

The courtship started on the set of their first film together, Ang Daigdig Ko’y Ikaw, which was FPJ Production’s third anniversary presentation. This was in 1965. FPJ was already the action superstar that time. Susan, meanwhile, had just ended her 10-year contract with Sampaguita Pictures, the studio that discovered and built her up until she became a movie queen.

Showbiz old-timers believe that FPJ already wanted to court Susan even before the filming of Ang Daigdig Ko’y Ikaw began. And he lost no time doing that. On the set of the movie, he had every opportunity to woo her. He did this by constantly being sweet to her at every chance he gets.

He also kept sending food to her house in Wilson Street in Greenhills. There were no Ecuadorian roses yet in the market in those days. Besides, sending flowers to women he wanted to pursue was not FPJ’s style.

Around that time, Susan had already broken up with her first boyfriend — a very successful Chinoy (Chinese-Filipino) businessman. That romance was serious and could have ended up in the altar. But fate had other plans for her.

Susan initially was hesitant to entertain FPJ as a suitor (she actually had a lot, including Jose Mari Gonzalez). Even then, FPJ already had this playboy image. She also had to deal with the fact that he already had a son that time with another actress who had a short stint in the business.

FPJ was persistent though. In time, he became her second boyfriend — and as it turned out, her last.

She knew he was serious with her. But at the same time, he still couldn’t keep his eyes off other women.

In 1968, Susan decided to break up with FPJ when word got around that he was starting to fancy Helen Gamboa, who had become a pop superstar by then. Was it a serious pursuit? Most likely not. 

Now, Senate President Tito Sotto, who eventually wed Helen, even became FPJ’s campaign manager during the 2004 presidential race. Susan and Helen also became very good friends, especially when they co-starred in the very successful ABS-CBN soap, Walang Hanggan.

On 16 December 1968, Susan and FPJ crossed paths. There was an all-star basketball tournament and FPJ served as captain for one of the teams. Susan was also there as muse. It had been awhile since they last saw each other. When they had the chance to talk, FPJ immediately offered marriage: “Marry me now or let’s forget each other.” Susan said yes. They eloped and got married that same night.

Nine days later, on Christmas morning, FPJ and Susan had their church wedding at the Santuario de San Jose in Greenhills. The reception was at The Plaza in Makati. The couple honeymooned in Japan.

FPJ and Susan eventually settled in a Mexican-style house on Lincoln Street in West Greenhills. Susan didn’t cook. She was hopeless in the kitchen. Vacationing at her brother’s California home one time, she almost burned the house down trying to cook adobo.

But she still proved to be a good and devoted wife to FPJ. For one, she looked after the needs of FPJ’s son, Michael, who was staying with the Poe matriarch, Bessie, in a house at Teachers’ Village in Quezon City. She regularly sent an allowance to Michael, who must now be around 65 years old.

FPJ’s misadventures

Of course, the public knew how FPJ on occasions went astray. There was Anna Marin who claimed that she wasn’t aware that FPJ was married when she hooked up with him. Who was she kidding? That liaison produced Ronian who is now past 40.

Then, there was Rowena Moran, FPJ’s leading lady in the late 1980s San Miguel Beer commercial. Lovi Poe was a product of that union.

Why did Susan stay married to FPJ in spite of all those infidelities? Both Susan and FPJ were old school. Like other couples of their generation, they believed that marriage — no matter how rocky — is always worth saving.

As far as FPJ was concerned, boys will be boys. From Susan’s end, she was content with the fact that her husband — even if she knew he was fooling around — always came home to her.

That kind of reasoning is unacceptable among today’s young women. They fought hard for equality and succeeded. As to the saying “boys will be boys” and are allowed to have a fling or two — that’s cheating. No progressive wife will condone that. Instead of suffering in silence, women of this era would rather opt for annulment.

Till death do us part

Was Susan a martyr? There is no doubt that her husband’s every extra-marital affair pained her. But deep in her heart, she knew that FPJ truly loved her. There were women who had the audacity to ask FPJ to leave his wife for them. FPJ always said no. He vowed that Susan — or Inday, which was how he called her — would forever be his life partner. Susan felt secure in that thought.

She knew how to hold the marriage together. Every time he came home late even if there was no overnight shoot, she wouldn’t even bother to ask where he came from. This was her mantra: Don’t ask questions if you don’t want to get hurt.

FPJ, in turn, was Susan’s rock. She knew she could rely on him – that she could depend on him always. And that he would defend her like any loving husband would if she had been wronged by anyone. And in spite of FPJ’s womanizing, the Poe union was basically still a happy one. 

To begin with, Susan never suffered from verbal abuse. And certainly not physical abuse. Emotional abuse? If there were any, FPJ never meant to hurt her. Blame the press for heralding romantic affairs with his leading ladies — whether true or not.

Susan and FPJ lived like a normal couple in their West Greenhills home. They were early risers. They always stayed in bed talking while waiting for the papers to arrive — and they subscribed to practically all the dailies.

At the start of the day, it was typical of FPJ to ask Susan her plans for the day. One time, she answered: “I am getting married today.”

Of course, she was referring to a wedding scene she was doing in her old RPN-9 sitcom, Tipitipitim-Tipitom. In one episode, she was finally marrying her leading man in the series, Eddie Gutierrez, and that was a big production.

During the lunch break, Susan and even the cast and crew were surprised to see a whole lechon being delivered to the set. It was from FPJ, who was showing his support to his wife’s career. Little things like those were what kept the embers burning in the Poe marriage.

The Fernando Poe, Jr.-Susan Roces union may not be considered as one of the greatest love stories ever told, but it still makes for a good Valentine’ Day feature. There may have been occasional straying from FPJ’s end, but his love for her was always there. She was assured of that. On her part, she loved him unconditionally, embracing even his imperfections.

There were good times and there were bad. But in total, it was a harmonious marriage.