Navigating Metro Manila is like braving a war zone of honking jeepneys, constructions forever, and motorcycles cutting you off like Mad Max daredevils. When it comes to finding the fastest route, your two best options might be: Waze, the all-seeing GPS navigation app, and your Tita, the all-caring queen of unsolicited advice.

Let’s see who reigns supreme in this epic showdown. Are you ready?

Round 1: Big data vs decades of experience

Waze has access to real-time data. Not just data — big data compiling available information from the internet and databases.

It calculates routes, predicts traffic, and throws out gems like, “In 100 meters, turn left.” Sounds great, until you realize that “100 meters” translates to a one-way street leading to a talipapa.

Congratulations, you’re now in the middle of the vegetable section with a habal-habal driver shouting at you for blocking the road.

Tita doesn’t need an app. Nor does she need a map. She has years of driving experience — and by driving, I mean mostly backseat driving while giving your Tito unwanted advice.

She’ll confidently say, “I know a shortcut,” and you’ll immediately regret asking. “Dumaan ka sa likod ng barangay hall. Oo, may harang na halaman yung isang bahay, pero kilala ko ang may-ari.”

Miraculously, her route works. You arrive faster, but not after a quick “mano po” to your Tita’s old friend.

Score: Tita wins. Decades of “instinct” beat fancy algorithms any day. Tita: 1, Waze: 0.

Round 2: Traffic Tactics

Waze is good at rerouting. “Heavy traffic reported ahead. Rerouting. You save 2 minutes.” Impressive, except it sometimes reroutes you to a road so narrow that you have to fold your side mirrors to get through. It is like Waze sending you into a barangay Hunger Games.

Tita, meanwhile, always has insider knowledge. “Mag-counterflow ka. Kaya mo ’yan.” You hesitate, but she insists. “Trust me. I’ve done this with your Tito’s Pajero and the traffic enforcers at the intersection allow it at this hour!”

Somehow, Tita’s traffic tactics always work. It doesn’t matter if it’s a quick U-turn or a discreet sidewalk detour, you’ll come out unscathed.

Score: Tita dominates. Waze reroutes you; Tita outsmarts the traffic. Tita: 2, Waze: 0.

Round 3: Real-time updates

“Police reported ahead,” Waze warns like a snitch. At least you know that your tax pesos are doing something.

But let’s be honest: most of Waze’s updates are not exactly groundbreaking news. “Vehicle stopped on the road.” What am I supposed to do with this?

Tita, on the other hand, just knows what’s going on without an app. “Huwag ka nang dadaan sa EDSA, may unannounced na rally. Mag-C5 ka na lang.” How does she know this?

Does she have a sixth sense? Is she an intelligence officer? Monitoring Facebook Live? Or is there a secret Tita hotline where all the Titas exchange intel?

You’ll never know, but you’ll never doubt her either.

Score: Tita. Waze may know the news, but Tita knows the chismis. Tita: 3, Waze: 0.

Round 4: Detours and dead ends

Waze loves to experiment. “In 200 meters, turn right then turn left.” It is so bold to assume your car can handle that “shortcut,” which turns out to be an alley where even motorcycles struggle.

What was it thinking — that you’re driving the squeezable magic bus from Harry Potter?

Tita’s detours, though unconventional, are foolproof. “Dumaan ka sa basketball court. May daanan doon, promise.”

You stare at her like she’s joking, but she’s dead serious. “Public road yan pinakiusap lang ng barangay.” Against your better judgment, you go — and somehow, Tita is right.

You zoom past the empty basketball court and exit onto a main road.

Score: Tita. Waze gives you anxiety; Tita gives you a full-court advantage. Tita: 4, Waze: 0.

Round 5: The human element

Waze is a machine, driven mostly by artificial intelligence. It doesn’t understand the nuance of Metro Manila.

It doesn’t know that the street is closed because there’s a barangay fiesta complete with lechon and karaoke. It can’t predict that local officials’ tarpaulin posters are blocking the entire intersection.

Tita thrives in chaos. “Ay, fiesta sa kanto? Mag-beso ka muna kay Kapitana, tapos makidaan ka. Sabihin mong pamangkin kita.” She knows everyone — from the tindera selling banana cue to the barangay chairman.

And when all else fails, she’ll say, “Park mo na lang sa tabi. Dito muna tayo. May kaibigan akong may lumpia.”

Score: Tita, for her ability to navigate not just roads, but life itself. Tita: 5, Waze: 0.

Tita doesn’t just give directions but life lessons. She shares life experiences. Sure, Waze is convenient, but it doesn’t tell you to stop at her favorite store, despite the difficulty in parking, to buy a pasalubong.

In this battle, Tita — no question — wins in a landslide fashion. Tita knows every corner and everyone by name — not because she has to, but because she cares. Her shortcuts and navigation skills certainly save time. But beyond saving time, they reflect her fondness for the places she’s traveled, the countless people she befriended along the way and her boundless love for her family. Tita’s unsolicited advice on navigation is never just about the roads, it is love, steering you in the right direction.