We’re looking at Congress and, seriously, we’re very confused.

They are obsessed with impeaching Sara Duterte. The spare tire. In the trunk. Wrapped in plastic. Doesn’t even touch the steering wheel. Somehow they can’t stop poking her with a stick. Double jeopardy. They impeached the spare tire so many times, it’s starting to look like she’s the real President.

Sara has no money, no departments, projects — but somehow has all the guilt. Amazing. If you can impeach someone with technically zero power, imagine how impeachable the guy with all the power must be.

Because the President, Bongbong, right now? Crickets. Croo, croo.

If this were really about betrayal of public trust, they’d follow the money. But notice how impeachment runs the other way. Away from the budgets, the signatures. Billions spent, melting roads but, sure, let’s interrogate the spare tire.

Funny thing about impeachment: it moves fastest when someone’s future looks brightest. Either the standard is real, or it was always just a stick to beat the opponent with.

And Bongbong? Oh, nothing is ever his fault. Clean hands. Suspiciously clean. You’ve never seen a President so uninvolved in his own presidency.

OK. Bongbong. At what level does “not me” turn into “why are you here then?” Something collapses, and every time you look surprised. Like it’s your first day.

Everything is “not his fault,” until it happens again. Then it’s kind of his brand. Can’t run a country on “not me” and expect it to stay dry.

Bongbong loves credit for growth. Hates ownership of decay. The Constitution doesn’t allow that trade.

Finally we’re talking about an impeachment against Bongbong in Congress. Probably filed by ”the minority.” Of course, the minority. Annoying. The majority must be very itchy. Strange rash. That changes the temperature in the room, doesn’t it?

If failures are nationwide, repeated and enormously expensive, how small does leadership have to be not to notice? Corruption? Maybe. Betrayal of public trust — by the way the ratings are tanking.

They moved fast on the Veep. Now let’s see if they’ll still love impeachment when it knocks on their President’s door.

Because twin impeachments. Legal. Very possible. Wow-wow. For a moment we forgot we’re the boss.

Remember UniTeam? The country was invited. Roses are red. Budgets are blue. They ran together. And may now answer together too.

Senate President Sotto: “We will act on it forthwith.” Nothing motivates forthwith like being one heartbeat away from the presidency. Very different enthusiasm. We can almost ask Chiz: When urgency disappears, who benefits from the calm? Same Constitution. Different comfort levels over what might spill.

This proposed impeachment is not merely a case against Marcos as a stress test for Congress.

They can argue that impeachment would destabilize the country (funny, it survived the floods) and warn of chaos, as if this were order.

Congress can say twin impeachments would shake institutions. Of course they would. That’s what happens when you finally test if they’re real.