David Chua regrets lost time with late Father

For years, actor-turned-director David Chua carried the weight of an unresolved relationship with his estranged father. That burden lifted, albeit too late, when he finally saw his father again—not in life, but in death.

The last time Chua saw Filipino-German Gerson Kummer Mallillin in person, he was just 13. Now 36, he had long hoped for a proper reunion, but their exchanges remained limited to brief online messages.

When he received the news on 21 March that his father had passed away, Chua went to Antipolo, where his father’s body was being kept.

“Nasa freezer na siya nang makita ko. Sabi ko sa mga tauhan ng punerarya, ‘Puwedeng bigyan ninyo muna ako ng two minutes lang?’ Lumabas sila, kinausap ko ang tatay ko, hinawakan ko ang ulo niya. Kinausap ko siya sa isip ko. Sabi ko, rest in peace. Pinapatawad ko siya, sana ganoon din siya sa akin kahit may pagkukulang siya,” Chua recalled.

(He was already in the freezer when I saw him. I asked the funeral home staff, ‘Can you give me just two minutes?’ They stepped out, and I spoke to my father. I held his head and talked to him in my mind. I said, ‘Rest in peace.’ I forgave him, and I hoped he had forgiven me too, despite his shortcomings.)

Fulfilling his father’s final wish, Chua arranged for his cremation. Despite being one of 16 children Mallillin had fathered, Chua grew up feeling the deep void of not having a father figure.

“Malaking bagay ’yung wala kang tatay. Lahat ng mga pinsan ko may pamilya, lahat sila kumpleto. Ako, nag-iisa. Namatay pa ang nanay ko noong 2020. Tapos nagsara pa noon ang ABS-CBN, nawalan ako ng trabaho, pandemic pa. Sunud-sunod pero ayoko nang isipin iyon kasi nakatayo naman ako ngayon. Kaya ko ang sarili ko, so okay na iyon,” he said.

(Not having a father is a big deal. All my cousins had their families—they were complete. I was alone. Then my mother passed away in 2020. On top of that, ABS-CBN shut down, I lost my job, and it was during the pandemic. Everything happened one after another, but I don’t want to dwell on it anymore because I’m still standing. I can take care of myself, so it’s okay.)

Though their relationship had been distant, Chua admitted he regretted not visiting his father while he was still alive.

“May ibinulong ako sa kanya. Sabi ko, ‘I’m sorry hindi kita napuntahan noong buhay ka pa. Napatawad na kita,’” he shared.

(I whispered something to him. I said, ‘I’m sorry I didn’t visit you while you were still alive. I have forgiven you.)

He later learned from Josh, the man who had cared for his father in his final days, that Mallillin had longed to see him.

“Sabi sa akin ng nag-aalaga sa kanya, ‘Kamukhang-kamukha mo ang tatay mo, pati sa pagporma.’ Kasi nakita niya, naka-leather jacket ako, naka-boots. Alam niya na artista ako. Sabi sa akin ng nag-alaga sa kanya, proud na proud daw sa akin ang tatay ko. Pag lumakas daw… gusto akong makita,” Chua recalled.

(The person who took care of him told me, ‘You look exactly like your father, even in the way you dress.’ He saw me wearing a leather jacket and boots. He knew I was an actor. He told me that my father was very proud of me and that if he had gotten better… he wanted to see me.)

Though his final goodbye was bittersweet, Chua said he also felt a sense of peace.

“Nakahanap ako ng closure noong kinausap ko siya. Pagkatapos noon, parang lumuwag ’yung dibdib ko na parang ’yung dinadala ko dati, nawala na. Kasi alam ko, kakampi ko ang nanay ko, nasa langit na. Nagkaroon pa siguro ako ng isang anghel na kakampi ulit, kaliwa’t kanan na sila sa langit,” he said.

(I found closure when I spoke to him. After that, I felt a weight lift off my chest, as if the burden I had been carrying was finally gone. I know my mother is in heaven, watching over me. And now, maybe I have another angel by my side—one on my left and one on my right.)

Now, he hopes his story encourages others to mend broken relationships before it’s too late.

“Kung meron kayong ganoong klase na sitwasyon sa buhay, sana tanggalin na natin ’yung poot, ’yung galit. Nandoon na ’yung opportunity para makausap ninyo sila, ’yun na ’yun,” he urged.

(If you have a similar situation in your life, I hope you let go of the anger and resentment. If the opportunity to talk to them is still there, take it while you can.)