Iza Calzado-Wintle might be an actress and a performer, but when it comes to raising her daughter Deia, she is against “performance.”

At a recent Nutrition Month press conference organized by a children’s multivitamins brand, Iza shared at the panel discussion that moms like her often strive for too much perfection such as the perfect time to put their kids to bed, “perfect way, milestone,” because they’re too worried that their kids are not developing properly.

“Sometimes, you also have to surrender,” Iza reminded fellow young moms.

Since her daughter was born “very underweight,” she was once very adamant about feeding her child well, until she realized “that mealtimes and a lot of things have to stop being a performance for the child that’s like she’s not doing enough, not eating enough vegetables in front of people.”

“Isn’t it that sometimes, people laud your child for eating a lot? But what if she doesn’t? What if she’s not doing enough, she’s not eating enough? And you, as parent, you’d feel like you’re not raising her well because she’s not eating properly,” she pointed out.

So, instead of being “a time of performance,” she suggested that mealtimes and other activities “should be a time of connection” between parent and child.

“It’s a time for us to bond, to really enjoy that moment. So I realized that the anxiety is first mine. It’s just us, parents, who are into too much perfection. That’s what gets in the way of our connection with our child. Food isn’t not really what they want. They want our energy, they want our presence, they want to feel loved — that whether they eat a lot or very small, we’d still cheer for them.”

Indeed, for Iza, patience is key in the development and growth of our children.