Ilocos Norte neglected under Bongbong?

Something terrible is happening in Ilocos Norte. The media won’t tell you, but we will.

They’ve run out of buildings!

People are probably holding meetings under coconut trees, weddings in parking lots, funerals at Jollibee!

Embarrassing! The President’s own yard! Man runs the entire country, his own people can’t organize a liga in a new building? This is a national emergency!

Now the House wants P4.74 billion in public works projects for Sandro Marcos’ district. Nearly P2 billion of that for multipurpose buildings alone.

At that price, we expect every multipurpose building to have at least 12 purposes. And one of them better scare China.

What’s a multipurpose building? It’s a basketball court when you want to play basketball. A wedding venue when a couple are getting married. An evacuation center after a typhoon. The venue for a political rally when there’s an election.

It’s very important. More important than the Metro Manila Subway! The House proposed cutting P19.7 billion from the subway’s budget! More important than the NSC Railway! Another P15 billion cut was proposed from the outlay for the railway! More important than classrooms! The House proposed cutting P3.1 billion from classroom construction!

Why? Maybe because Ilocos Norte sacrificed its favorite son for the nation. Now the nation must sacrifice its subway for Ilocos Norte. That’s only fair!

They’re gonna build enough multipurpose buildings that every resident will have a building of their own. You wake up, kiss your wife, walk into your multipurpose building, and wonder what the hell you’re supposed to do in it.

The father’s admin proposed only a P369-million budget for his son. The House raised this to P4.74 billion. Whoa! Usually, a father gives his son an allowance. Here, the neighbors got together and raised it!

Now if it’s so important, what exactly did the House learn about Ilocos Norte that the DBM didn’t know?

We want to visit Ilocos Norte. We want to know who counted the buildings. Did somebody go door to door? “Good morning, ngarud. Do you have a multipurpose building? No? My Gosh, another victim!”

Ordinarily, the other congressmen would be furious. They’d walk up to him: “Sandro, congrats. Tell me, is your district hosting the Olympics? The World Cup? Are you expecting an invasion?”

But they aren’t complaining. Why?

Maybe their districts are doing wonderfully? No potholes? Enough classrooms? No broken bridges?

Surely, we’d demand an investigation! Not into Ilocos Norte. Into our own districts! Why are our constituents so cheap? Why do they only need roads and hospitals?

Or maybe the congressmen are getting nervous? We heard there’s a terrible drought coming in 2028. Not El Niño. A budget drought.

These congressmen have been very loyal to Marcos. They went after Sara, made big enemies. Now they realize: “2028! Sh*t!”

Then they walk into her office someday asking for a bridge. Awkward.

So, perhaps they’re thinking, “We’ve got two years! We need roads! Bridges! Buildings! Get everything approved while we still can!

“But the President can veto our projects!”

“But his son has a district. A district that could use some buildings!”

“How many buildings?”

“Who cares? Give him enough to see from Malacañang. Maybe 200! Make a good impression!”

The President looks at the budget. “Who gave my boy all these beautiful buildings?”

“We did, sir.”

“What wonderful congressmen! What can I do for you?”

“Funny you should ask, sir. Our districts need buildings too!”

“How many?”

“Another P42.7 billion worth, sir!”

“Forty-two billion!?”

“Yessir! Everybody needs a multipurpose building!”

“What for?”

“That’s the beauty of it. We can decide later!”

P42.7 billion more. For multipurpose buildings! All over the country! That’s what the House wants!

Now, we’re not saying this conversation happened. Maybe every project is desperately needed.

But if you’re expecting a drought, you can understand why everybody might be rushing to fill their balde.

Because something terrible is happening in Ilocos Norte. We thought they’d run out of buildings.

Perhaps Congress is simply running out of time. And running out of Bongbong.