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Portrait of Vernon Velasco

Vernon Velasco

Vernon Velasco's humorous, observational style blends wit, irony and dark comedy. Drawing from his own experiences, he offers sharp insights into human nature and the awkwardness of everyday life, often exploring themes of family, culture and personal flaws. His writing is conversational and self-deprecating, balancing uproarious humor with moments of vulnerability and introspection. His distinct voice captures the absurdities of life, making readers laugh while also prompting deeper thought.

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Sins of the swine

Sins of the swine

Religion is no excuse for rudeness. If your faith makes you look down on others, it’s not faith. It’s arrogance.

It was either a spiritual awakening or a mass psychotic break. If that was the Holy Spirit, he needs to be sedated.

It’s catching

One man fainted. Another spoke in tongues. I just hoped they wouldn’t pass me the mic.

Tastin’ France was less a tasting, and more of an existential intervention with oak barrels.

My liver speaks French now

‘I left wine-drunk, horny and convinced the French don’t make mere libation; they stage elegant coups in crystal.’

University of Santo Tomas’ senior high in ‘Verso L’Alto.’

Holy, wholly unexpected

Clearly, God played favorites when handing out talent at UST. If this is the generation that’s coming next, we might not be doomed, after all.

Anya general manager Mikel Arriet.

Wine dinner where time stops

The quarterly banquet celebrates the finest wines from around the world — in Anya Resort’s most extensive cellar

Nothing unsettles a room full of diplomats like genuine enthusiasm.

The handshaker

The only honest gesture in the room — and it was a mistake!