Vitaly's jail soap-cum-lumpia misadventure goes viral

A racially charged wisecrack about Asian male anatomy “size” down south being small, akin to "lumpia" or a spring roll, was all it took to send social media into full comedic overdrive.

A clip of deported Russian vlogger Vitaly Zdorovetskiy recounting his supposed jail experience — including a crude “dropped the soap” story — blew up online, spawning a comment-section circus equal parts outrage and improv night.

Netizens, most of whom were presumably Filipinos, turned discomfort into punchlines, with one saying the Russian must have taken a liking to Filipino "lumpia" that he went back for more.

Threads filled with mock equations (“define ‘a few times’”), exaggerated play-by-plays, and jokes that treated the story like a badly written prison movie script.

Among the standout comments:

• “Even a 747 looks small in the middle of Grand Canyon.”

• "So he’s testing waters by intentionally dropping soap."

• “Oh, he intentionally dropped his soap”; and “He dropped the soap on purpose… daily.”

A two-track humor battle quickly emerged.

Many still called out the racial tone, but even the criticism came wrapped in wit. “Zero lesson learned” became a recurring verdict, alongside digs at the vlogger’s storytelling credibility.

The Russian was arrested in the Philippines for his vlogging antics and was just recently deported to Russia.