Dear Atty. Peachy,

I hope you can provide some guidance on a situation regarding our shared custody arrangement with my ex-wife. We have a 10-year-old son, and we have been following a shared custody agreement since our separation that outlines how we manage our time with him. However, as the holiday season approaches, I am becoming anxious about how we will divide the time with our son during this special time of year.

Last year, our arrangement allowed us to split the holidays, which worked well. This year, my ex-wife has proposed a change to the schedule, wanting our son to spend the majority of the holiday break with her. I am concerned about how this change may affect our son emotionally and whether it disrupts his sense of stability.

What rights do I have regarding shared custody during the holidays, and how can I approach this situation to ensure that my son has meaningful experiences with both of us without causing unnecessary conflict? Any advice on how to negotiate this change amicably would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for your help.

Gio

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Dear Gio,

Start by carefully examining your current custody agreement. Under the Family Code of the Philippines, custody arrangements should specify how holidays are shared. If your agreement does not include holiday provisions, this can be an opportunity for negotiation.

The Family Code emphasizes that the child’s welfare is the primary consideration in custody matters. When discussing holiday arrangements, focus on what will be most beneficial for your child both emotionally and psychologically.

Initiate a conversation with your ex-wife about the holiday schedule. Approach the discussion with a willingness to be flexible and open to compromise. For instance, you might consider splitting the holiday period or alternating years. Demonstrating your commitment to finding a solution helps prioritize your child’s happiness.

If you and your ex-wife cannot agree on a plan, consider mediation. The Family Code encourages the use of mediation to resolve disputes amicably. A neutral third party can facilitate discussions, helping both parents to navigate their differences and move toward a mutually acceptable solution.

Should mediation prove unsuccessful, either parent can file a petition in Family Court for modification of the custody arrangements. This legal action is generally taken when there is a substantial change in circumstances or if the existing arrangements are not in the best interests of the child.

Navigating shared custody during the holidays can be challenging. By maintaining open communication and focusing on your child’s well-being, you can work towards resolutions that benefit everyone involved. Should disputes arise that cannot be resolved amicably, remember that the law provides mechanisms for intervention and mediation.

Wishing you and your family a joyful holiday season. If you have further questions or need additional guidance, feel free to reach out.

Atty. Peachy Selda-Gregorio