Pokwang and a lesson on balls

Netizens are once again feasting on female comic Pokwang on social media. No, the issue doesn’t have anything to do with ex-husband Lee O’Brian this time.

Last week, Pokwang went online and gave the following reasons why she skipped the recent GMA Gala at the Manila Marriott Hotel in Pasay City:

1) She had to buy a dress, which can be quite costly.

2) There’s a chance she’d get bashed for her dress of choice.

3) She’d rather stay home and cook sardines that she sells in bottles.

While there were netizens who respected her decision, there was a whole bunch of social media users who pilloried her on Facebook. These were some of the reactions online:

For the millions and millions that the network pays her, she could have shown her loyalty by attending the gala.

How much does a gown cost anyway?

The annual gala is a show of solidarity and camaraderie among network talents.

There were also below-the-belt comments, the kindest of which said that “Pokwang is better suited in the kitchen than in the gala.”

I only met Pokwang once — at the wedding of Vandolph Quizon to Jenny Salimao. She seems to be a nice lady — no-nonsense and very down-to-earth.

Like those netizens who just let her be (it was her choice not to attend the gala, so leave her alone — they said), I find it necessary to come to Pokwang’s defense to enlighten the public about the realities of show business and what it takes to attend a red-carpet event.

Costs and practicality

First of all, let’s get to the “milyon-milyon” Pokwang is supposed to be getting from the network. Who in entertainment gets millions and millions? Well, there are a few endorsers who still get paid by the millions. But they’re very few.

And now that TV and the movies are doing bad business, there are studios that will try to get services at bargain-basement prices — or if possible, for free. Yes, some talents will do that — just to get some exposure. Maybe they’ll get a gift or a little token for agreeing to appear in a project free-of-charge.

Those P200-M showbiz deals being bandied about are for several projects that may take years to complete. The artist doesn’t even get to keep the entire amount because talent managers and agencies need to get their share of the loot. And let’s not even talk about taxes.

In the case of Pokwang, if there’s any truth to the netizens’ supposition that she gets millions and millions for her TV work, why would she even bother to slave it out in the kitchen cooking sardines that she has to sell? Preparing sardines for business purposes is a tedious process.

As for the cost of formal dresses, some social media users insist that Pokwang could very well afford to buy herself one. That’s true. But maybe she is just being practical.

The cheapest red carpet-worthy gown these days is in the vicinity of P50,000. That’s not even a head-turner. Pokwang must be thinking of the so many other things she can do with P50,000. Certainly not for a dress that she may never be able to use again because women, especially celebrities, don’t repeat clothes.

What camaraderie?

As for the acts of solidarity and camaraderie that network talents are supposed to embrace on the night of the ball, isn’t this the time when leading men engage in fistfights? During the Star Magic Ball last April, Daniel Padilla and Kyle Echarri were said to have come to blows over Kathryn Bernardo.

At the 2011 Star Magic Ball, Coco Martin and Matteo Guidicelli real did punch each other at the Manila Peninsula Hotel where the event was held. So, that’s solidarity and camaraderie for you.

And what about last year’s biggest scandal — when Sandro Muhlach was allegedly molested by two of GMA’s writers after the gala? The resolution to that case is supposed to come out very soon.

Oh, and about the comment of that Facebook user who said that Pokwang is suited only for the kitchen, I did check his profile picture. I’ll be very Christian about this — his is a face only a mother can love.

Now that the dresses had been sent out for dry cleaning and put away — or probably returned if borrowed from designers — what was accomplished during the balls of the two networks? The GMA event was supposed to be for charity. But aren’t there other ways to raise funds?

And think of the environment. Those formal clothes are made from synthetic materials. During production, nylon and polyester add up to the greenhouse gas emissions.

Of course, having those dresses made is still good for the economy because spending happens. That also provides work for embroiderers.

But wouldn’t it be wonderful if those celebrities just wore clothes made from pineapple fiber? What a boost that would give to the pina industry. But then, what celebrity would want to sport that “ninang sa kasal” (wedding sponsor) look at a red-carpet event?

What’s it all for?

The truth is, most network talents I know don’t even like attending those galas. I’ve had my share of formal occasions mounted by GMA and ABS-CBN.

It’s not too much work for men. All a male celebrity needs is a good black tuxedo that could be re-worn multiple times.

There are actors though who try to experiment. Some males are able to get away with an all-white ensemble without looking like a runaway groom. That means having a white coat made with matching white pants.

Marvin Agustin tried a fashion experiment in a GMA formal affair some years back. For men who like a little variety, they wear a white coat with a pair of black pants. Agustin did the reverse then. He wore a black coat with a pair of white trousers. The style didn’t work. It was a fashion disaster.

If Marvin Agustin had to wrack his brain over what to wear that time, you can just imagine what the female celebrities had to go through. In whispers, I still overheard some female talents swear off the event.

First, they had to have a meeting with a designer to discuss the dress. Then they had to come back for fittings — as in plural. On the day of the event, it was an afternoon at the parlor for them. One actress was honest enough to admit to me that it was expensive attending those formal functions.

For those who borrowed clothes from designers, they could not even eat properly at dinner for fear of staining the dress. Believe me, after the event, a good percentage of the attendees in those affairs have fast food delivered as soon as they get home.

So, what exactly is the relevance of those galas? From my end, I looked forward to those events for the free chow.

I was obliged to attend those galas back then because it was a requirement for me as a journalist. I had to do interviews. As a matter of fact, it was during one of those events where I was able to make Dingdong Dantes and Marian Rivera admit that they were already a couple. That was the scoop of the season.

But I did pity the others who had to be there looking like mannequins because they were mandated by the network to do so. Unfortunately, the network couldn’t even defend them when the bashing came.

What’s even more painful than being bashed, however, is getting ignored. After all that effort, no one even bothers with you. Ouch!

Surely, there are some celebrities who enjoy their fashion show bit on the red carpet. And lucky are those who have designers willing to sponsor their clothes. Yes, there are designers dying to do clothes for celebs for brand exposure.

Who are you wearing? Ugh! That makes me sick.

These galas in general are nothing but frivolity. Who do you think truly enjoys those glamorous affairs? Trust me — it’s the network executives who otherwise would never be invited to red carpet events.

The worst aspect of these balls is the fact that it teaches the wrong values. It’s all about outshining the rest. And we’re not even talking about academics here. It’s all about dresses that will remain forever in the closet after the event!

I can imagine how Pokwang must have been the most beautiful woman that night of the GMA gala — even if she wasn’t in the affair. Clad in an apron, her evening was most purposeful — and fruitful.

While her female colleagues in the network were starving in their corsets, Pokwang was in her kitchen making food — making herself useful. I wonder how many batches of sardines she made that night of the GMA ball.