“Red Uncle” was the alias Chinese law officers gave to a man who currently faces a legal debacle. His identity was made known all over by international publications and his crime: videos allegedly documenting the sexual congresses he had with other men who were not aware they were being filmed. The videos were reportedly sold to a pornographic site wherein “Red Uncle” earned his moniker.

The most fascinating aspect of this tale is how the man presented himself as a woman to the men. And all he asked from them were tokens, never cash or anything expensive. If am to romanticize what happened, “Red Uncle” made me remember Song Liling and Rene Gallimard, the lovers, and the many deceit and lies in David Henry Hwang’s play, “M. Butterfly.”

“Red Uncle,” despite the hideous wig and shabby dressing, capitalized on his Song Liling to beguile, charm and seduce the 1000-plus modern-day incarnations of Gallimard with his extraordinary bedroom talents.

As to the why these “victims” did not suspect that another man was their sexual partner, they alone have the answer. Some of the photos that came from the videos showed that there were a handful who repeatedly had sexual relations with “Red Uncle.”

The theory I offer is apart from being horny, they were lonely, dissatisfied with whatever are the sexual givens in their respective lives. It was not just a “wham, bam, thank you, madam” fix for them. They needed connection. They longed for their skin touching another skin. They desired for pleasure without the emotional entanglement and responsibility.

“Red Uncle,” for all his submission and the worship he gave to his unsuspecting partners, gave them their manhood and manliness validation.

Travesty

Only “Red Uncle” has the narrative as to why he sold the videos to the pornographic site. He obviously broke the trust of his more than willing clientele. And up to what extent will be the punishment to him, and how the men will accept the justice served to them, only time can tell.

What we need to think about is why the majority were so captivated and glued to this story of a man who provided “bliss” and “happiness” to an x number of men whose loneliness were killing them.

Why some were obsessed with how smooth-skinned and handsome were the victims, again they can answer it for themselves. To those who reduced the “Red Uncle” reveal into memes and laughed about it, do remember that it only hurts more when we laugh.

Frankly speaking, there is a bigger truth and morality about this “Red Uncle” online drama that no one has articulated. I cannot judge the actions of “Red Uncle,” knowing the fact that he has already reaped what he has sown. To point fingers at those who “enjoyed” the videos, many men among them, that I cannot do as well because whatever we watch and view on our gadgets, are personal choices, and as adults, what we watch does not necessarily mean we follow and do our own versions of it.

Not knowing where to place the “Red Uncle” videos and if there is anything at all we gain from after all the literature and commentaries written about it, I believe, is the biggest travesty of all.

Brown alienation

The aria of actor Janus del Prado about the use of she/her pronouns for LGBT members continue to polarize the general public.

Whether it was indeed Awra Briguela or the Facebook administrator’s fault, this issue on the use of pronouns to Briguela and “her” likes is a topic that can be easily swept under the rug or simply addressing it as “ibigay mo na sa kanila, respetuhin na lang.”

I always believe that respect is something you earn. You do not demand it.

Also, pronouns do not define who you are. The entirety and essence of one’s being, existence and personality is not dependent on the pronoun used to address you. There is more to members of the LGBT community than just being her/she or him/her.

If pronouns are the only reasons for your living and breathing and that you get your validation from them, what a waste indeed on your education, life given to you by parents, choices on love and lust, adventures and battles to become the better if not the best you, and friends and foes that bring emotional and character development.

I also believe that there is more to a person than just being boxed or labeled under an alphabet that does not truly tell the complete mental, emotional, spiritual and psychological make of an individual.

What also causes further alienation and discomfort, the branding of a dissenting opinion as immediately homophobic simply because it does not suit the needs and wants of a given group. They refuse to comprehend and understand anything and everything that is different from what they espouse.

Most of the people who are overtly critical come from a place of wisdom, and yes, they know better because they have won battles and experiences that paved the way to whatever pink freedom and liberty the present generation of gay and lesbian folks enjoy.

There are many gay men who are not conscious of honorifics, labels, titles and pronouns and yet, they are happy, healthy and productive and in their lifetimes, do their share in making this place a better world to live in, and they do not care whether you are girl, boy, bakla or tomboy. They care, love and serve because of the humanity, love and light we all carry.