Vibes: Palakpakan governance

Leaked! Keep this hush-hush. But, also, like, tell literally everyone.

So apparently, and you didn’t hear this from me, you hear it from the insider. Cross your heart? Pinky swear?

President Bongbong has a new strategy: “Utos ni PBBM. Sumunod si Secretary. Palakpak mga tao.”

That’s it. The whole comms plan. He’s the director, lead actor and cheerleader.

Malacañang has become a content powerhouse. Explains why he’s everywhere now.

Drills a blackboard? "He's saving education". Rides MRT once? “Down-to-earth President." Points at map? "He has a plan." Points bridge? “Sir is very hands-on!"

And boom. Praise release. Viral reel. Standing ovation.

And “He barely sleeps!”

OK? Neither do people in panic. Sleeplessness isn’t leadership. It’s cramming.

Now: “Sir is focused.” Focused on what? “On prioritizing.” Prioritizing what? "On what must be prioritized.”

He shows up late, stares blankly, then points at something like a man seeing the country for the first time.

The real gag: When something works, it’s his brainchild. When it flops? “That's local. That's Cabinet. You're fired."