Let’s talk about the cultural collision of the century: Timothée Chalamet’s mouth versus the entire performing arts curriculum.

In a move that surely had his PR team screaming into a silk pillow, Timmy decided to dunk on the high arts. “I don't wanna be working in ballet or opera,” he told The Guardian, essentially calling them the rotary phones of the stage. “No one cares about this thing anymore.”

Bold move, Timmy.

It was a spicy take for a man who was absolutely brilliant in Wonka (2023), proving he had the whimsical pipes to carry a massive musical. You’d think a guy who just resurrected the world's most famous chocolatier would have more sympathy for things people “try to keep alive,” but apparently, the cane and the coat were just a phase.

When Timothée didn’t get the gold for Marty Supreme at the Oscars on 15 March U.S. time, it wasn’t because a cabal of vengeful sopranos sabotaged the ballot. It was because Michael B. Jordan was busy being a “performance-first” powerhouse in Sinners.

While Timothée was busy worrying about the irrelevance of The Nutcracker, MBJ was leaning into the kind of “coiled intensity” that makes critics swoon. He didn’t need to trash the philharmonic to stay relevant. He just showed up and did the work.

Critics have long hailed Jordan for his ability to shoulder a movie’s emotional weight, bringing a soulful energy to the screen that made Sinners feel like a full-blooded star vehicle

In the end, MBJ proved that while some actors were busy debating the expiration date of the opera, others were busy being undeniably great.

Sorry, Timmy. Maybe if you’d spent less time coming for the ballerinas, the Academy wouldn’t have been so distracted by the man in the Delta.