In what can only be described as the political equivalent of saying, “Can we not fight in front of the kids,” President Ferdinand “Bongbong” Marcos Jr. has expressed a desire to make peace with the Duterte family.

Yes, after months of cold shoulders, thinly veiled Senate barbs, spiritual warfare, and accusations that sounded like rejected telenovela plotlines, BBM has taken to a podcast — the official therapy couch of modern politicians — to declare that he wants unity above all else.

Speaking to Anthony “Ka Tunying” Taberna in a podcast episode uploaded last Monday, Marcos Jr. calmly told the nation he’s ready to move on, extend a hand, and presumably pretend none of this ever happened. Like a boyfriend trying to win back his ex by posting an apology vlog instead of texting “sorry” like a normal human being.

“I still want unity,” said the President, “I want to make peace with the Dutertes.”

This, from the man whose administration has greenlit investigations, legislative hearings, and thinly disguised PR offensives targeting the very same family. But sure, why not? Let’s patch things up over lumpia and lumped-up charges.

To be fair, Marcos is in a tight spot. His approval ratings have taken a slow slide, the economy is wobbling like a jeep on bald tires, and people are noticing that “Bagong Pilipinas” is starting to feel like “Lumang Problema.”

In this climate, fighting with a still-popular Duterte clan — even a divided one — is like lighting a match in a gas station. Not smart, unless your goal is to star in the next disaster film.

And let’s be honest — he needs Sara Duterte to stay tame. Not necessarily loyal, just tame. A Sara unhinged is a Sara who can reroute Mindanao votes in 2028. A Sara unbothered, however, might just chill in Davao, conduct symbolic flag ceremonies, and leave BBM’s neck unbitten. That’s the dream.

But what of the Dutertes? Will they go skipping hand-in-hand into the sunset with Marcos Jr.? Unlikely. Former President Rodrigo Duterte has made it clear he doesn’t trust Marcos, with accusations ranging from being a “drug addict” to being a weak leader who lets his officials do the dirty work.

Sara Duterte herself has resigned from the Cabinet, been mum on unity, and now lives in that ambiguous political space where she’s neither in nor out — just... lurking.

Still, BBM is offering the olive branch. Or maybe it’s a rubber plant, who knows. In this version of unity, nobody apologizes, everybody plays nice, and we all pretend that governance is possible amid a political slap-fight.

So yes, Marcos wants to move on. Like a bad Facebook status from 2010, he’s clicking archive on the drama. The problem? The Dutertes may not be done reacting, commenting, or starting their own podcast in return.

In the end, this peace offering may just be a photo op waiting to happen. Smile for the camera, shake hands, post the reel, and carry on governing — or at least continue giving the appearance of it.

Because if there’s one thing Philippine politics has taught us, it’s that in the land of dynasty drama, unity is often just a campaign slogan in disguise.

Email:mannyangeles27@gmail.com