Jingle bells those crooks away
I have my paranoid dachshund Sylvia, with her shrill barks, which my indoor behemoth, the dane Bebu, amplifies with his bass-heavy woof, woof.

Filipinos in wintry parts of America need not dream of White Christmases, as many experience them every year — ho-hum, along with the inevitable hassles like shoveling snow off driveways and roofs, and cladding tires with snow chains.
Back in the Philippines, climate change has softened the “ber” months’ chill, leaving just enough of a breeze to make you reach for a light jacket but not enough to justify pulling out the winter coat you bought for that trip to Japan or Switzerland.
As every corner of the country glows with twinkling lights and artificial Christmas trees (unless you live in Baguio), Simbang Gabi — the dawn Masses — beckons, with Christmas carols carrying through the neighborhood as churches prepare for the first rays of sunrise.
But there’s a darker truth amid all the merriment: Your house could very well be ransacked while you’re out. Let’s face it — thieves don’t care about Christmas cheer, and they’re certainly not distracted by the scent of freshly baked pan de sal.
So, as you head out to Mass, let’s take a moment to discuss how to protect your home from being raided while you’re off on your spiritual journey over the next nine days of dawn Masses.
The first line of defense? Your neighbors? Nah. Sure, at least one of them will be home while you’re out getting holy, but asking them to watch over your house in exchange for some bibingka will leave you indebted to them for life.
Let’s talk about latching and bolting. Make sure your house is locked tighter than your auntie’s grip on the karaoke mic during family reunions. Doors, windows, the sliding glass doors — check them all. It’s better to lock everything, even the things you didn’t think could be locked. Safety first.
If you want to be extra cautious, leave a light on — just one or two. Don’t go overboard and make it look like your Christmas lights are trying to outshine the neighbor’s parol. A single lamp or light near a window will do. You want just enough light to trick people (and burglars) into thinking someone’s home. Subtlety is key — don’t give burglars the impression you’re auditioning for a holiday lights show.
If you’re a bit tech-savvy, smart lights — those that turn on and off based on pre-set times or ones you can control remotely with your phone — can create the illusion of movement in the house.
For extra precaution, consider motion-sensor lights. These little gadgets are the modern equivalent of an alarm bell. Install them by your gate or front door, and if a burglar dares to approach, the light will flick on, catching them in the act. Burglars hate being caught in the spotlight — literally.
But let’s be real. The best way to avoid being a target is to hide your valuables. Gadgets, cash, that good balikbayan box you’ve been meaning to send overseas — everything should be tucked away. Don’t make it easy for someone to stroll in and grab what they want. It might not be snowing, but burglars will try to snowball you out of your Christmas spirit with one quick swipe.
And if you can’t afford a high-tech security system, don’t worry — fake it. Use your old alarm or some loud, obnoxious gadget you have lying around. Trust me, it’s enough to make burglars second-guess whether it’s worth the hassle of breaking in. Add a barking dog sound effect, or something that screams, “I’m not a house you want to rob,” and you’ll send them running.
As for me, I have my paranoid dachshund Sylvia, with her shrill barks, which my indoor behemoth, the dane Bebu, amplifies with his bass-heavy woof, woof.
Lastly, don’t forget your barangay. Badger them into doing their job of patrolling your street while you’re off attending mass. Their flashing mobile lights should deter any shady characters looking to take advantage of your absence.
Now, go ahead — have yourself not just a merry, but a safe little Christmas too.
