There was a time Filipinos simply threw questions out there without knowing why or getting an answer that satisfied — like why is our main international airport so dingy; why are public toilets so disgusting; and why are many Metro Manila roads and highways beginning to feel like the backroads of neglected provinces?

Coming from a few international trips this year, that feeling of neglect and abandonment became more and more pronounced, as nothing much has changed except for this last trip when we saw the ongoing renovations of the toilets. At last, right?

Well, if the old toilets had been badly maintained — with dirty floors, unpleasant smells, and maintenance crews that looked like they would rather be in the nearest cafeteria than picking up strangers’ discarded toilet paper — they are now shiny new in white and gray marble, with touches of gray to set off the glossy (as opposed to grimy) silver faucets — like the kind you see in funeral parlors. 

They are eerily spic and span, and the faucets work, there is hand soap and a supply of paper towels to wipe your hands after washing.

Yet, on the whole, the place still gives an impression of dinginess, perhaps carried over from the long walk through a narrow, low-ceilinged hallway with no working walk-a-lator and haphazard décor, including a few clusters of potted plants to add some green, some walls still carrying the cultural touches of our colorful islands, and a wall that says “Tuloy po kayo,” translated, as recently seen, with a missing letter: “elcome.”

“Elcome,” indeed, to the Philippines.

Past the immigration lines (less frenetic now that there are automated gates for Filipino citizens), the feeling of despair grows as realization hits. It is a eureka moment that has nothing to do with the airport now, try as the private corporation now running it might to upgrade and modernize its facilities.

It is that moment when you are struck by the hard truth that you had been feeling all along but never quite acknowledged — that the Philippines you love has become harder and harder to embrace because it is run by people who do not love it as much as you do. 

What does “Love the Philippines” mean to Filipinos? It is not an inviting “elcome” into a country run by leaders who spend their time navigating or maneuvering through a system of corruption rather than thinking of ways to make Filipinos’ lives easier, or to showcase a country that used to be blessed with such beauty.

The jetway connecting the airport terminal to the aircraft is the first thing first-time travelers would experience about the Philippines, and unfortunately, ours does not impress. It is, one finds out soon enough as the airport begins to reveal itself, as drab as the airbridge. The efforts to upgrade are still evident, but everything seems unfinished. 

It’s like bridges that connect to nowhere, or paid-for roads that should have been there but aren’t. It’s like rotational brownouts in the hottest season of the year because somehow, our blessed archipelago always has a problem with limited supply. 

We are rich in natural assets, rich in talent and skill, rich in potential — but we are poverty-stricken in the ways that count, which otherwise would have made a Philippines that is as modern, polished, and inspiring as it used to be. Before greedy hands got to it first.