Are we normal yet?

Oil prices, Middle East, very complicated, they’re all looking at Bongbong. Imagine you’re Bongbong. Not good.

You can’t say, “I have no idea.” Terrible look. Very weak. People panic when the President panics. So, what to do, Bongbong? You walk around, shake hands, touch things. Touching is important. Makes it look like you are personally inspecting the economy. Visibility. Very underrated.

You go to Agora Market to reassure the nation. Rice? Touch it. Eggs? Touch them. Oil? Can’t touch this. You touch everything except the problem. Which, to be fair, is harder to photograph.

You pick one egg. You look at it like you’re negotiating with it. Serious face. Maybe nod. People think, “Wow, he’s studying the egg.” Everyone knows: when the President touches an egg, the economy is safe. Like maybe the tomato won’t get expensive. They look healthy and stable. Unlike you. You hover over the eggs in the palengke. Total hesitation. Then. You put one back. Very weak. Everyone saw.

Each contact is less about inspection than acknowledgment. Like the objects require recognition to remain stable. It gives the impression the system is working because it has been eyed.

Problems no longer need solving as much as witnessing.

People wonder: is the egg inflation? Oil prices? Perhaps the general unease of a country that keeps checking its wallet even when it hasn’t bought anything?

Then he says: “Everything is normal.”

Very strong suggestion. Like, “Smile for the camera.” The situation hasn’t improved, but your expression should.

Also: beautiful. Because nobody knows if it’s normal or not. They’re waiting for the President. So, you tell them. You define it. That’s leadership. Not solving; defining. Powerful.

Even when “normal” seems to mean the tomato has not exploded, the rice has not fled, and the fish, while dead, remains reassuringly so.

Normal is supposed to be invisible. That’s the whole thing. You don’t announce normal.

Once you call it normal, you’re telling everyone: get used to it. Think about it. Gas? A few centavos in your grandfather’s day. Fifty pesos yesterday (you didn’t complain). A hundred today (you keep driving). Your brain will catch up, if your wallet won’t.

And if people are calm, maybe they won’t panic. Suddenly doing nothing starts to look like leadership. You don’t look helpless. In government, sometimes that’s the whole job.

Meanwhile, we’re told: conserve electricity, fuel, conserve spending. And Bongbong said, why stop there? Let’s conserve decisions. The biggest savings of all.

He calls it “normal” after saying something is urgent. That’s a tough combination. Urgent means act now. Normal means relax. So which is it? We got emergency powers, then suddenly, everything’s fine?

Very confusing. “Everything is normal.” At this point, if things actually got better, that would be abnormal.