Everybody’s very upset. Melting down. About a face.

The tourism secretary, Christina Frasco. On a magazine. Tarps. The website. We’ve officially run out of real problems.

In the Senate yesterday, very serious voices. “Tourism should be about destinations, not people.”

OK, Sen. Raffy Tulfo. Then why do we elect people? Why not elect beaches? Let Boracay run for office? Amazing sand. Very non-epal. I’d vote for it twice.

Senator, if one woman can outshine 7,641 islands, you just admitted the Senate hasn’t passed a thing that helped them.

Because your Congress keeps holding hearings instead of legislating. Public service has been under interrogation since quadcomm and bicam.

Sen. Tulfo, if we’re going to be moral in a face economy, let’s be moral consistently. Perhaps you can explain why you are more famous than your laws? Go ahead. Name one. We’ll wait.

Let’s stop pretending the problem is visibility, because the problem is who is allowed to be visible without being called vain. Even flags have faces if you stare long enough.

The real scandal would be a politician nobody recognizes. That would terrify me. Because I heard the name for the first time, and I was like, “Christina Garcia Frasco?”

“Yes, daughter of Gwen Garcia.”

I thought, honestly, Viva Hot Babes.

I covered Mrs. Frasco once. She smiled at me. Normal smile. Filipina smile. World-famous. And, I swear to you — boom! — I got it: That’s tourism. Tourism is the moment your shoulders drop because someone smiled at you like you belong there. You stop being tense.

I’ve seen beautiful places that felt hostile. Gorgeous. Stunning. You wanted to leave immediately. No warm bodies. There’s nary a signal. No sense in anyone’s home.

That’s when you realize tourism needs a muse, not just a view. Hospitality has a face. People do not fall in love with countries; they fall in love with moments, and moments usually involve someone smiling and not yelling at you.

You can have the nicest house in the world. But no host? Awkward. Cold. You scan for the exit already.

Now, they’re upset there’s a poster of the tourism secretary at Aklan Airport. Small airport. Humble airport. Ceiling fans trying their best.

“Why not the beach instead?” That’s what people say when they’ve never been responsible for anything.

Buddy, foreigners don’t think about the beach yet. They land and go, “Where’s my bag? Am I lost? Is this going to be chaos?”

You put a face there, and suddenly it feels managed. Like someone will answer the phone. A very important feeling. Government doing customer service.

Because, let’s be honest. When the washroom is dirty, nobody blames the beach. If a taxi charges too much, do you yell at the sunset? You look for a person. And if there’s no person? “This country is disorganized.” The destination is stained.

If nobody wants to be the face, that tells you everything. That’s why you introduce yourself and say hello.