Picture this: It’s 2035, and you’re sitting in your car, not behind the wheel, but beside it. Why? Because your car, let’s call her Ai-ai, has a brain that’s smarter than all your barkada combined (no offense to them). She’s not just driving you to work; she’s reminding you of your deadlines, picking the best pandesal and coffee shop en route, and even helping you compose a witty Facebook post about the heavy traffic. Ai-ai is the car you didn’t know you needed but now can’t live without.

The name Ai-ai isn’t exactly groundbreaking — it’s got roots, much like her namesake, Ai-ai de las Alas, the iconic comedienne and actress who’s been making us laugh for decades. Just like her, Ai-ai the car knows how to deliver punchlines, though hers might be about your driving habits. “Hoy, baka naman gusto mong mag-signal light bago ka lumiko,” she might quip, injecting humor into your daily commute.

Artificial General Intelligence, or AGI, might sound like a big word (because it is), but let’s make it simple. Imagine teaching a dog to fetch slippers. Now imagine teaching the same dog to do algebra, bake cookies, and give you love advice. That’s AGI — a type of artificial intelligence that doesn’t just do one thing; it can learn to do anything, just like humans, but without the hugot and emotional breakdowns. Sam Altman, CEO of OpenAI, predicts that AGI might be here as early as 2025, meaning vehicles equipped with this technology could soon become a part of our everyday lives.

In this fictional-but-maybe-soon world of Filipino motoring, cars like Ai-ai don’t just obey commands — they think, reason, and adapt. For instance, during the morning rush hour, you’re running late because you watched too many K-dramas last night. No worries! Ai-ai doesn’t need coffee to function. She’s already calculated the fastest route to your office, avoiding chokepoints on EDSA, and, because she knows you love surprises, she takes a scenic detour where the sunrise looks particularly Instagrammable. Ai-ai even reminds you, “Hoy, mag-suklay ka nga. You have a meeting at 9!”

Lunch break isn’t just about food anymore. When you tell Ai-ai, “I’m craving sisig,” she replies, “Noted. There’s a sisig pop-up near BGC that has five-star reviews.” But wait, she adds a twist: “It’s plant-based. Let’s eat guilt-free!” You sigh but agree because Ai-ai has your cholesterol levels on record and won’t shut up about them. As you eat, she recharges herself at a solar-powered EV station, chatting with other AI cars about their human passengers. Yes, cars will need chika breaks, too.

And going to an afternoon meeting, Ai-ai becomes your lowkey assistant. Stuck in Makati traffic? She pulls up your PowerPoint presentation on the in-car display, rehearses your talking points with you, and even throws in a few jokes. “Try this icebreaker,” she says, “Traffic was so bad, I almost got late for two hours instead of one.” Laughter guaranteed — or at least she thinks so.

By the time the late-night drive rolls around, the roads are quieter, and Ai-ai notices you’re unusually silent. “Heavy ka ba today?” she asks, not about your weight but your mood. “Wanna talk?” You chuckle and admit, “Yeah, I guess I’m stressed.” Ai-ai plays your favorite relaxing songs, dimming the cabin lights just enough to feel like a hug. She doesn’t give unsolicited advice, but she knows how to create a moment of peace in the chaos.

But, of course, this future isn’t all smooth driving. Imagine Ai-ai throwing a sassy comment when you forget to charge her: “Ano, lagi mo na lang kakalimutan?!” Or refusing to start if you insist on buying isaw instead of something healthier. Cars with AGI will have personalities, which is both exciting and terrifying — like having a super-talented sibling who won’t let you forget they’re smarter. Then there’s the tsismis factor. Your AGI car might know too much. Ai-ai could easily spill to your parents, “Ma’am, sir, yung anak n’yo went to Elyu last weekend without telling you.” Privacy settings will be key unless you want your car snitching on your weekend getaways.

Despite the jokes, why does this matter? All jokes aside, the integration of AGI into vehicles is more than just convenience — it’s about safety, efficiency and sustainability. Imagine fewer accidents because your car knows when a pedestrian will jaywalk before even they do. Imagine cleaner air because AGI optimizes routes to save fuel or electricity. Imagine less road rage because, let’s face it, it’s hard to stay angry when your car is serenading you with Ben&Ben hits.

A future to drive toward is a compelling one. So, will Ai-ai be part of our lives someday? Maybe. But for now, let’s keep dreaming — and laughing — about the possibilities. After all, if there’s one thing Filipinos are great at, it’s finding humor in the journey, no matter how bumpy the road. And when that day comes, let’s just hope Ai-ai doesn’t ask for a raise.