I hope many moms got the celebration they deserved yesterday. I hope they were allowed to sit in the passenger seat without being asked why the backseat was full of sunscreen, umbrellas, drinking water, snacks, wipes and everything else needed to survive the summer.
In many Filipino homes, moms are not only mothers. They are dispatchers, reminder apps, emergency nurses, snack managers, lost-and-found officers, traffic analysts, weather reporters, and the only person who can find a missing sock inside a room already searched by adults and one sulking teenager.
Look inside many cars used by Filipino families and you can usually tell if a mother has been there.
There is tissue in the glove box or dashboard and hand sanitizers in the door pocket. There may be snacks for emergencies and an extra shirt.
Dads may check the engine and tire pressure. Moms, check if everyone has eaten. Even in our DAILY TRIBUNE office, our colleagues and leaders who are moms still ask the most important newsroom question before or during meetings and deadlines. “Have you eaten?”
That is field research from years of riding in family cars, watching mothers, including my late mom and mom-in-law, treat the car like a mothership command center.
This is why Mother’s Day, after a Sunday celebration, should not end with a cake or a social media caption that says “best mom ever.”
That is nice, of course, but the better tribute is to notice what mothers do on normal days, especially on the road.
A mother wakes up early not only to prepare herself. She wakes up to prepare everyone else. She checks the food, uniforms, water bottles, school projects, permission slips, IDs, and the one thing a child always says was “not due today” but is actually due in 20 minutes.
The Philippine Institute for Development Studies said in a recent release that Filipino women spend an average of 28 hours a week on unpaid care work, more than three times the 8.6 hours spent by men. I say 28 hours a week is a bit understated.
Oxfam Pilipinas also reported that women in its 2021 National Household Care Survey spent 13 hours a day on unpaid care work when supervision of dependents was included, compared with eight hours for men.
Mothers drive, commute by jeep, bus, ride-hailing cars, LRT/MRT, tricycle, motorcycle, or take whatever ride can get the family through the day.
By today, the cake is almost gone and the family photo has already been posted online. The house returns to normal, which usually means Mom is back on duty.
That is the part we should notice more. She has spent years putting everyone first, from school runs, checkups, groceries, meals, to the small worries nobody sees.
SB19 had the right words for it.
“Labis pa sa labis ang ‘yong nagawa Mama, pahinga muna, ako na.”
After Mother’s Day, maybe that is the better gift. Let her rest from the small duties that follow her everywhere.
Take the wheel, carry the bags, drive safely and handle the little things she usually carries in her head.
Happy Mother’s Day to all moms out there.