Night falls differently in Chiayi.

Not gently. Nary politely. Boom — light everywhere. These lights are cocky. Like they’ve been waiting all year to show off. Lanterns the size of trucks, lanterns the size of cats, lanterns dangling like radioactive fruit. Six hundred of them, officially. Unofficially? Feels like a million. Probably visible from Beijing, which I’m sure they love.

This is the Taiwan Lantern Festival. The locals insist it’s cultural. That’s technically correct, but it feels more like a hallucination designed by engineers and poets sharing the same bottle.

The whole thing officially opens when President Lai Ching-te presses the ceremonial button and ignites the main lantern. Speeches first, of course. Always speeches. Culture is the foundation, technology wings, global friendship, resilience, blah blah blah.

The main lantern: “Radiance Upon the World’s Alishan.”

Huge thing. Pure lantern arrogance. Like it accidentally swallowed a powerplant. Sacred trees. Sun motifs. Water imagery. Eco totem all welded together with recycled wood and LED nerves so it can brag about being environmentally responsible while glowing like a nuclear peacock.

Then the smaller lanterns take the cue and start competing.

The crowd watches quietly at first. Then the phones come out. Of course. Humanity cannot simply look at a thing anymore. We must photograph it, post it, tag the UN.

Chiayi hasn’t hosted the festival in eight years. Which means the county is treating the moment like a long-overdue reunion with the rest of the world.

Mountains and forests lanterns. Rice fields and fisheries lanterns — somewhere in between, factory lanterns humming with the confidence of a place that knows it can change sans losing its accent.

Indigenous heritage first: the land before the machines. Reminds everyone that the island had trees long before anyone argued about sovereignty. Tall cypress trees that once built empires and railways.

Agriculture: the old irrigation canals, the stubborn logic of farmers who coax rice and fruit from soil that doesn’t always cooperate.

Then the festival loses all restraint.

“Island Adventures.” Bright colors, giant sculptures: At once playful, at once defiant, Taiwan telling the world past tense geopolitics that its beaches, mountains, lantern light bouncing off the faces of kids chasing glowing animals.

Then the future: “Technology Carnival.” Animations, kinetic sculptures, smart-city fantasies; the same story every modern nation tries to tell: roots in the past, eyes on tomorrow (one lantern I swear appeared to wink), somewhere in between a very expensive lighting budget.

The experience is messy in the best way: crowds wandering without maps, families drifting toward whatever glows brightest.

At some point you notice the handheld lanterns: Taiwan’s tourism mascot OhBear perched on a rocking horse. The Year of the Horse twist. A pun in Chinese that roughly translates to arrive immediately. The government distributes them at 3 p.m. each day until the boxes run out. By nightfall, thousands of children carry them like tiny moons. Drunk moons. Happy moons.

Try sending a fleet against that. Good luck.

After a while, you notice something about these lanterns.

Possibly the most confident lights in Asia. Maybe the world. Every lantern in Chiayi standing there like it’s saying: Look at me. I’m bright. I’m here. Deal with it. Each one seems to have an opinion.

Somewhere across the strait, in very serious gray buildings, there are very serious men who absolutely hate confident lights.

Because Beijing doesn’t like confident lights.

They like obedient lights. Predictable lights. Lights that glow only when told. Lights that know their place.

These lanterns shine a little brighter when the crowd cheers.