Becoming through love

Many years ago, young and naive, I believed that if someone liked me—and especially if they were a familiar friend—I should jump in headfirst. I gave my all, heart wide open, only to end up completely wrecked in the end.

Looking back, each heartbreak, awkward misstep, and fleeting romance wasn’t just pain—it was a lesson in disguise. Each person I dated taught me something about love, about myself, and about what I truly want—and don’t want—in a partner.

My first love lasted the longest. We were young, awkward, and hopeful. Spending a year with him taught me patience—not just with him, but with myself. That love was messy and tender, and it showed me that growth sometimes comes slowly.

The second guy had liked me for years before we got together. From him, I learned that love requires consideration and patience. I also realized that you should only dive into a relationship when you’re fully healed from the past, because even the strongest feelings can create problems. He taught me that love is worth the risk—but risks come with consequences.

The third relationship left me bruised in ways I hadn’t expected. I learned to be strong and to walk away when I wasn’t being treated with respect. I also discovered that not everyone has pure intentions and that trust isn’t something given lightly. That experience made me cautious, careful, and more aware of red flags.

With the fourth guy, I learned the importance of speaking up. I used to go silent when I was upset, expecting him to read my mind. That taught me that my feelings deserve to be voiced—and that love is a conversation, not a guessing game.

The fifth relationship taught me about boundaries. I bent over backward to make it work, sacrificing my own needs. I realized that if the energy isn’t mutual, no amount of effort can sustain a relationship. Loving yourself must come first.

All these lessons shaped the way I view love today. I’m no longer the martyr who gives everything and hopes for scraps in return. I now understand that a partner should be patient, understanding, and loving in return—someone who values my feelings, reassures me, and meets me halfway, not someone who makes me question my worth.

Love, I’ve learned, isn’t just about heart-fluttering moments—it’s about growth, respect, and the courage to both give and protect your heart. And for that, I’m grateful for every past mistake, every heartbreak, and every lesson I’ve learned along the way.