On Christmas Day, a Chinese Navy ship — a shiny destroyer, with radars and huge guns — got caught trespassing in our sea. Somehow. Again. Like this is news. A surprise.

Chinese Embassy in Manila: “Saw a Pinoy fisher in trouble. Engine failure. Three days adrift. We were heroic. Gave biscuits and water.”

Beautiful story. If you believe it.

The Philippine Coast Guard’s Jay Tarriela says the fisher was anchored for less than 24 hours, instead of the very official “three days.”

Already, we have an exaggeration. Guo Wei, Chinese Embassy blab — funny thing, sounds like Guo Hua Ping. Very unfortunate coincidence — pouted nonstop about the Philippines miscounting their 14 bottles of water and four packs of biscuits.

Is counting biscuits how major powers now prove credibility? Because that is quite a small look for a very big country.

“Helping fishermen is natural. Don’t read too much into it.”

Means: “We just violated your EEZ, but we’re nice, so shut up.”

Responding to distress is mandatory under international maritime law. Any coast guard knows it is not heroism but obligation. Stop patting yourself on the back.

No one disputes that aid was given. But a warship is not a charity boat. Your destroyer did not sail all the way to help a stranded fisherman in the Philippines.

What makes us really angry is why it was widely advertised, weaponized rhetorically, and used to normalize a presence that remains fundamentally contentious.

“Where was the Philippine Coast Guard?” the embassy demanded.

If you have to ask why someone wasn’t in his backyard, perhaps you shouldn’t be there either. We are exactly where our waters are.

You cite the United Nations Convention on the Law of the Sea (UNCLOS) and the Archipelagic Sea Lanes Passage when it benefits you. Do you also accept UNCLOS when it affirms Philippine sovereign rights in its EEZ? The 2016 arbitral ruling?

You say coordination with the PCG was clear. Then why did this escalate into inane grandstanding instead of a quiet handover? And what exactly is the Filipino public supposed to feel here? Gratitude? Submission?

Let’s be honest: the biscuits were cover for the gambit. A Chinese research ship parked near Cagayan was busted days later.

What exactly is China researching just off our northern tip, literally brushing against our landmass? Mapping undersea cables? Charting submarine highways? Studying currents for “science?”

Very innocent. Very technical. Except you didn’t ask permission. When research looks this secretive, science begins smelling like fish and looking like preparation.

Guo Wei: Tarriela is ignorant. Ship passage is lawful under UNCLOS. Not research. Needs no Philippine permission.

Your gaslighting is exhausting.

Is it the role of an embassy to de-escalate tensions, or to publicly attack uniformed officers of the host country to provoke a useful reaction?

If your embassy exists to raise the thermostat, what exactly is the diplomatic function being served here? Is that how partnerships are usually formed?

When every issue turns into a public spat, doesn’t meaningful dialogue eventually become impossible? What, then, is left to work with the Chinese Embassy?