I went to LTO Tanauan in Batangas. Bright eyed. The kind of hope Bagong Pilipinas promised. Then bam! A junior officer. “Your license couldn’t be processed.” Snag. Photogenic sadness. Absolute injustice.

I asked for help. Senior officer? The woman had a singular, heroic hair on her jaw, like it decided early on that it would not be part of a group. It had clearly been there longer than I am and would almost certainly outlive me.

It’s long. Enough to braid if you’re that way inclined. I wondered if she named it. People who have pets name them.

I wanted to politely ignore it, but the hair made eye contact. I tried to make small talk. Nothing. Very rude. Didn’t move. Which felt intentional.

It had presence. Plans; stared at me like it knew my PDC is from Makati.

Her name was printed neatly on a little sign, the kind you give to show you’re tenured and your energy died at Window 3.

Mo-relle… Mikk-ela… Melly? Sounds like a name that belongs to a DJ. Doesn’t ring like a hair-forward name. The hair made the name feel more like a Gerald. Maybe a Rolando. Something with syllables that understand Anti-Red Tape Act.

Morelle is exactly what you imagine when you think of a government office: My inquiry is a threat to the stability of the state.

By the time she spoke, I already knew the answer. Her face had told me everything (the words were mere formality). They cannot process my application because I took my practical driving course in Makati City, where I work. Where I live, the nearest LTO branch is in Tanauan.

“Can you check the certificate, ma’am? Discretion, maybe? Stamp it? Move on?”

The LTO has a wonderful system, LTMS, that actually recognizes valid documents from anywhere. Department partnerships with providers. The kind of fast that wins awards. That’s how real organizations operate.

“We’re just following the Asec.”

“Ah! The Asec. Can’t you follow sense?

Asec has some memo effective since August.

In fairness, Morelle had the memo produced at my demand. Very favorite student. Tanauan LTO model government employee of the year: “From now on, if your certificates aren’t issued in this region, we don’t care if it’s real. You can’t use it here,” signed, DoTr Assistant Secretary Atty. Vigor Mendoza.

Rationale: “Compliance shopping” prevention. The LTO is suddenly worried some people might be clever, get certificates somewhere “easier,” and can’t stop them unless they punish everyone.

This is government thinking at its best. Hey, Vigor. Certainly, you’ve seen criminals with better reasoning than the logic behind your systems problem.

Driving competency doesn’t change at a city line. Your ability to operate a vehicle is the same in Metro Manila and Batangas. Making certificates “regional-only” is like saying water is only wet in the province where it’s bottled.

And so, because a few supposedly “cheat,” they decide to treat everyone like a criminal, like I magically become honest in NCR.

I tried Lipa. Boom. Offline. PITX next day. Finished everything in the morning. Very fast, Vigor. Truly. Like the real Bagong Pilipinas. Like a thinking and functioning state. Very unfair to Tanauan. Same agency, different planet. Morelle didn’t judge me this time. Probably resigned in shame. Very sad for bureaucracy. Very good, memo king.

The circular spoils the streak, Vigor. Government writes laws to help citizens. Good laws. Laws posted like a trophy in LTO offices. Ultimate pride. Ease of Doing Business. No noon break. Then you issue a circular to undo them? Very high. Obviously higher than the law. Higher than logic. Certainly, the highest hierarchy. Nobody voted for you. But here we are.