You go to the airport, the Immigration officer looks at you like you’re a criminal, like you’re sneaking diamonds or trafficking organs. You’ve got your boarding pass, ID, passport and these guys, they squint at you like, oh, maybe you’re smuggling a bridge. Everybody’s grouchy, everybody’s suspicious.

But former DPWH Secretary Manuel Bonoan? Only in the Philippines can you let a man fly out for a “medical thing” while being the No. 1 suspect in a billion-peso disaster.

Where were the Immigration officers’ badges, the uniforms, the official scowls? Everybody has a right to fly?

Would be interesting to tell the lady with a shampoo bottle over 100 ml. That’s enforcement, right? Can’t be over, can’t be under, or it’s terrorism. Scanners beep, officers glare, she’s frisked, interrogated. But Manny?

The right to evade responsibility is not in the Constitution. You all saw him board that plane.

So, the Immigration Lookout Bulletin Order (ILBO), tell us again, is supposed to do what exactly? Do we issue ILBOs for suspects or for people we actually want to escape? Because that’s what it looks like.

How can DoJ tools like the ILBO be meaningful if it allows people to walk out of the country while under investigation? Explain that without laughing.

And, Mr. Bongbong President, when a top official disappears overseas and you appear furious, who exactly are you trying to fool?

You clench your jaw, you grit the teeth, but the action? Where? Enforcement? How does this anger translate to accountability?

He’s “accompanying his wife for a medical procedure.” Very touching, very classy. Could be true, must be fake, who knows?

What’s the problem? You can’t treat a headache in Makati City now? You’re telling us the Philippines can’t handle a gall bladder? If the Philippines is good enough for your money, shouldn’t it be good enough for your medicine?

Can’t they just be treated in the Philippines? We have beautiful hospitals here. St. Luke’s (very biblical, by the way), Makati Med, The Medical City (it even sounds like an entire metropolis dedicated to healing).

And yet, the moment somebody gets accused of something, suddenly these public officials need foreign oxygen. They can’t breathe unless it’s imported! “No, no, no, our illness is very international. Needs to be treated in dollars.”

And these guys, they always make it sound noble. You know it’s bad when an old man like Manny Bonoan suddenly transforms into the world’s most attentive husband the second someone mentions the ICI.

“Her pancreas. I’m going only because my wife needs me.” Certainly. Sure. You didn’t show up when the country was drowning.

And they always go with the same line, “She’s very sick.” Very vague! Sick how? Allergic to subpoenas? Terminal transparency? Chronic fear of Senate hearings? Your wife does not need a doctor, Sec. You need a good lawyer and a one-way ticket to anywhere with no extradition treaty.

Are we to suspend our disbelief for compassion, or suspend accountability for privilege? Mr. Bonoan, which one are you asking us to do?