Life is meaningless without death

As we come to that time each year when we pause to remember and celebrate the memories of our dear departed, let us be reminded that death, like taxes, is inevitable. And, more importantly, that life is meaningless without death.

Last week, another tragic loss of a youngster gone too soon brought back painful memories of the unbearable pain of a parent who has to say goodbye to a child. As cliched as it may sound, it is unnatural for a parent to have to bury their child. But it does happen. And when it does, no other pain can compare to it.

For us parents who have lost a child — especially us mothers who carried them in our womb — nothing is worse than living with regret and the “what ifs” that leave us wretched and broken, never to be the same again.

It is true what they say — you never really get over the death of a child, you just learn to live with the pain. One day at a time.

So it may be easy for those who have never gone through such a painful loss to heap blame on the parents as if they weren’t castigating themselves enough. I can only wish they had never had to go through that kind of pain. When did it become the norm to judge and to hate others, especially at a time of great tragedy and grief?

Which brings me to my point and what I believe is the root cause of this mental health crisis in many of our young. The internet and social media have slowly eroded our core values and basic sense of decency, chipping away at our humanity.

People unleash venom and evil while hiding behind the anonymity afforded by these platforms. Yes, IP addresses can be traced, but who has the time for that when life is already difficult as it is. And these social media platforms provide the perfect conditions for toxic, hateful environments to thrive.

And what’s left unspoken is how miserable people must be that they celebrate tragedy, pain, sorrow. and grief. After all, misery loves company.

The advent of the internet and social media have, in many ways, made life easier. But it has also created dents in society and our humanity. The lack of face-to-face interaction has made it easier to spew hate and poison out there. Words no one would have the courage to say to someone’s face are thrown out there to inflict emotional and psychological damage on others.

As Whitney Houston sang, “Learning to love yourself — is the greatest love of all.” We must ensure that we inculcate the right values and build up our children’s self-esteem based on acceptance and love. We must ensure that they will not seek out or need public affirmation and the admiration of others, an impossible feat if you think of the magnitude of the scope and the world social media opens up.

That said, it is not up to the government to regulate the use of the internet and social media.

Self-regulation must begin in our homes. The extent of access we allow our children to social media should be commensurate with their maturity and their ability to discern not only right from wrong but also their ability to recognize the need to distance and remove themselves from negativity and toxic behaviors.

Social media is a knife that cuts both ways. Gone are the days when our values and norms were dictated by our elders and passed from generation to generation. Now it’s a free-for-all. If we are not careful, we all risk losing our children to hate and indifference.

The take-away? Let us teach our children to be strong and resilient in the face of adversities and challenges. To learn to drown out the noise and listen only to the voice of reason that comes from a place of love — not from hate, resentment, or worse, envy.