'How to Be the Greatest Artist in Your Lifetime'

So you want to be an artist?
And not just an artist, but The Greatest Artist in your lifetime at that?
Well, lucky for you, I’ve laid down these steps,
A simple list, like a bunch of nifty tips in a hat.

First: be depressed. Like morbidly depressed.
After all, everyone knows that sanity is the price.
Who cares if you’re unhappy, as long as you are interesting!
Be a razor, a well of black ink, and remember to be as cold as ice.

Second: create art with your blood and your tears.
Flail your limbs, scream your throat raw, and gauge out your heart.
You are creating poetry, and a performance, and a visual masterpiece!
People will look at your creations and they will say to themselves:
“This. This is what authenticity looks like!”
They will applaud your blood and your tears,
And you will be the bravest person they’ve ever seen in their lives.
But remember that when you create, you set yourself up on a stage.
And your audience is feet away, watching your every move.
They can’t get too close as everyone knows
Pain is only beautiful when admired from afar.

Third: now that you’ve created your own masterpiece,
It’s time you make yourself the next statue to be admired.
Dip yourself in molten bronze, and set your clothes on fire.
This way, everyone who comes near,
Will be sucked into your destructive orbit,
Another detail in your poignant life where you are the centrepiece,
And the sun of your own little galaxy.
You are a star, and you will burn everyone who comes near.
Your mother or a stranger? There’s no difference here.
After all, if you want to be a star,
Then you have to make sure everyone revolves around you.

Fourth: you have created and you have become your creation.
It’s time you capture your audience into your gravity.
Let them be the planets, and convince them you are the reason
Why they are alive.
They will revolve around you, screaming your name.
Copying the way you tore at your own flesh.
They will decorate your system with their blood and tears.
And they will chant your name
And they will fall deaf to their own screams.
There will be no other sound other than your name.
And this is all worth it,
After all, aren’t you the greatest artist this lifetime has ever seen?

And finally number five:
Close your eyes and savour their clawing hands reaching for you.
They will want to touch you and kiss you and praise you
But everytime they come too close, they will burn.
And yet they will all do it again. And again. And again.
And you, yourself, are blind to the multitude of faces
Begging and crying to be part of your glory.
Your mother is dead, your friends are dead,
But you will live on,
Because you are the Greatest Artist this lifetime has ever seen.
And maybe even in the lifetimes to come.