Diplomacy is about being heard.

Right. See how far that gets with the maniacs and their missiles.

Want to pack a punch? Bring the big guns. The fastest jets.

If you don’t have those, at least have the decency to deliver a proper tongue-lashing.

Instead, we get lukewarm news conferences that could poach an egg.

President Marcos Jr., the man who inherited a name, a face and apparently none of the spine, has mastered the art of doing nothing, diplomatically. (Cue vague statements that hope to win a war with group hugs.)

Meanwhile, the Chinese creep closer, mile by unlawful mile.

We filed another note. We frown diplomatically. We write a strongly worded sigh, run it by legal and pray it floats.

The response to a Filipino general being water-cannoned in our own waters? “Worrisome.”

Oh he didn’t get soaked? He might as well have been. It was a baptism, by proximity, into the Church of Passive Leadership.

“Galit na galit ako!” he thundered.

But he’s supposed to hold it the hell together.

He’s not trained for this.

But the President’s protest was a mealy-mouthed plea for calm, the kind you can afford when you’re dry and fully limbed.

The only thing we’ve successfully defended is the ego of a President who, confronted with a water cannon barrage, would call for a moment of silence, reflect on the gravity of the situation, and say it’s concerning.

Jin Ping: We regret to inform you that this is a warship.

You can practically see the Chinese Navy sending: “Thank you for your patience and understanding.”

We’re outgunned, outmaneuvered, and out of things to say. At this point, why not just send a nice bouquet that says, “Please don’t hurt us”?

If you’re always the one calling for calm, you’ll never be the one setting the terms, which is why all we can do is outsource bravery to Washington and conscience to Beijing.

A wise diplomat stays composed under pressure. Just not when the pressure is coming at 60 psi and pointed at your hull.

You don’t follow a man like that. You poke him with a stick to check if he’s still moving.

Our red line, according to Mr. Marcos, is bloodshed: “The death of any Filipino would be very, very close to an act of war.”

So, as long as no one dies, who needs a country?

Sovereignty doesn’t count? Our people have to bleed before he grows a backbone?

In war, there’s always one guy quoting the rules while everyone else is quoting missile coordinates.

And who leads by blinking at tyrants instead of slamming the door and loading the rifle?

“We have to do more.”

Back to you, Mr. President.

More of what? Speeches? News releases? More of that patented Marcos smile-and-pagkakaisa combo, hoping it lands like a warhead?

Marcos’ pagkakaisa promise in his campaign was a glossy cover for his cluelessness and inability to lead.

“Pagkakaisa,” he declared, eyes moist with conviction. I felt something, too. Turns out it was fear. And the beginning of an ulcer.

He said it like the syllables were armed, like a man trying to fix a sinking boat with positive thinking and a very long straw.

We needed unity, which, fine. Great. I love a good unifying moment. But against what exactly? They’ve got lasers and territorial ambition.

If unity’s the answer, someone forgot to tell the Chinese Navy. They seem pretty united already.

Unity is a lovely idea. So is monogamy. But try holding hands with a warship and see how far that gets you.

It’s like bringing flowers to a hostage situation. Sweet. Thoughtful. And it gets you shot.

So unless your speech can repel jets, grab a radio and start yelling back. At some point, you stop singing the national anthem and start acting like a nation.

Duterte may have been accused of “selling” the country. But a president who hides behind the diplomacy of “unity” in the face of armed aggression is narrating its surrender.

One did it with bombast; the other “unity.”

One day we’ll look back, need a visa to visit Palawan, and realize our sovereignty died of excessive courtesy.

Unity’s nice. So is a group hug. But neither should run a country.

Marcos Jr. isn’t weak because he seeks peace. He’s weak because he thinks doing nothing is a form of deep thinking, like when you sit on the couch and stare at the wall, pondering the meaning of life while your apartment is slowly being taken over by rats.

If unity’s the plan, we better unify fast. Before we’re unified under a new flag.