Lady of the Parking Lot, grant us a space

If you’ve driven in Metro Manila for any length of time, you already know that parking here is no small feat. Every available space feels like a rare find, a hard-won prize from the parking gods. Just when we thought we’d seen every trick in the mall parking playbook, a new story went viral on November 1st, All Saints’ Day, this time unfolding at a cemetery in Las Piñas.

In an unexpected twist, a woman stood in an open parking slot, waving off cars to “hold” it for her companions — including a child and her elderly parents — a move that left a lot of people buzzing.

Now, if Anthony Bourdain were still with us, he’d probably crawl out of his grave to weigh in on this one. After all, nothing seems to go against his show’s very title, No Reservations, quite like reserving an open parking spot with just the power of human presence. It’s one thing to reserve a table at a busy restaurant, but a parking slot? Now, that takes a special kind of boldness.

Someone managed to capture a video of the incident showing another woman, who wanted to park, shouting at her to leave the space. When news of this hit social media, it blew up. Drivers, netizens, and pretty much everyone who’s battled parking in Metro Manila had something to say about it. Standing in the middle of a lot to claim a spot isn’t exactly a parking “hack” anyone wants to see trending. And to try it at a cemetery on one of the busiest days of the year? That added a whole new level.

If you’re familiar with Las Piñas, you know that parking there is about as rare as a traffic-free EDSA on a Monday. While people have probably tried this “human barricade” tactic before, seeing it play out so brazenly in public seemed to strike a nerve. There we all were, gritting our teeth through Metro Manila’s daily gridlock, and here was someone standing in a parking slot — in a cemetery, of all places, on 1 November, treating it like prime real estate that could be “reserved” at will.

And let’s be honest — who hasn’t been tempted? Hunting for parking in Metro Manila can bring out all kinds of creative (and sometimes questionable) strategies. I remember one weekend at a mall where I managed to find a spot near the end of a long line of parked cars. A car at the front of the line, maybe a good 50 meters back, was waiting with its hazard lights flashing, but I pulled in anyway. Just as I stepped out, the driver came over, insisting the spot was “his.” I couldn’t help but laugh. Did he think he had dibs on every spot between him and the horizon? “So, this whole 50-meter stretch is yours to claim?” I asked, trying not to grin. He gave me a look, muttered something, and drove off. It was ridiculous — but that’s Metro Manila parking for you. Some people act like they’re entitled to an invisible line of reserved slots!

And let’s not forget those who manage to wrangle a spot in the slots reserved for persons with disabilities, stepping out of their car with a limp, only to walk normally a few paces later — like Kaiser Soze in The Usual Suspects. It’s the kind of performance that deserves an award for sheer nerve. This “Metro Manila parking culture” really is something to behold. Here, you’ll find the whole cast of characters. There are the patient ones who wait with their headlights blinking, the strategists who zero in on shoppers putting away groceries and hover like hawks, and then the fearless few who think the rules just don’t apply to them — the ones who see an open spot and decide it’s theirs to commandeer, no questions asked. But this isn’t just about reserving spots. This is Metro Manila, where parking has evolved into a kind of modern-day Wild West. Every driver is after their own little piece of asphalt, and the game is ruthless. Only the sharpest, the boldest, and, in this case, the most brazen get the spot — or, as it turns out, the wrath. Reactions online were mixed. Very few people sympathized, many were outraged, and quite a few were just amused at the absurdity of it all. Because honestly, in Metro Manila, this is just another day in the parking lot.

It does make you wonder what would happen if this parking “hack” caught on. Imagine malls designating “human barricade zones” or even offering premium services where you can book a friend to “hold” a spot in advance. It’s a wild thought, but in a city that’s pushed every driver to their parking limit, sometimes you have to laugh to keep from tearing your hair out.

As for the Lady of the Parking Lot herself, she did ask for a bit of understanding. She apologized and said she regretted what she did. She shared that she had already settled things with the woman who confronted her. For many of us, the idea of circling endlessly, only to find a person standing in a parking space, claiming it for someone else, is enough to boil the blood. But in the end, the daily saga of Metro Manila’s traffic is as much about patience as it is about persistence. So, here’s to all of us navigating the grind, facing the bumper-to-bumper ballet, and finding a bit of humor in these little urban dramas.