Mochacha’s blown job

So, here we are now with our morning Sumba, lewdly gyrating our aging soggy bodies while alternately clutching our crotches and our breasts and all to the jingle “ipepe, ipepe, ipepe. Idede, idede, idede. Ipede, ipede, ipede, ipepedederalismo!”

Sick puerile sweaty fun isn’t it? Stupid fun we owe to Mocha Uson and her comedian cohort, both of whom by posting a vulgar two-minute video didn’t even have to stretch their wee minds for the debate on Federalism to quickly fall apart in idiocy.

Of course, some of us might be reticent enough to keep private our protesting Sumba moves, keeping at bay Bongbong-supported trolls.

But, many of us are naughty by nature; and we are helpless against curbing a public display of our enthusiasm for embarrassing sincere evangelicals of Federalism while they publicly scramble at damage control of Mocha’s latest inanity.

Just for the pleasure of it, a sampler follows from prominent Federalism evangelicals going ballistic on the overwhelming trauma Mocha wrought.

“The problem is some people think advocating for Federalism is a joke,” a disgusted Consultative Committee member Gregorio Larrazabal said over on Facebook.

“Mocha should be removed from the Federalism campaign. She should study first. She should take a leave first,” demanded Sen. Aquilino “Koko” Pimentel III.

“We want people who vote because they understand the draft because they agree with it not because they enjoy the dancing of Uson,” thundered staunch federalism advocate Father Ranhilo Aquino.

In essence, disdain from Federalism evangelists for the “pepe dede” video is that of raised arching eyebrows that could open a raw oyster at five meters away. Do you have any idea how painfully difficult it is to even open a raw oyster with a sharp knife?

At any rate, as a form of public service for those who still don’t get it, “pepe” is colloquial for vagina and “dede” for breast. It’s about women’s private parts and how these parts are related to promoting federalism baffles me, causing brain nausea.

Mocha’s lame defenses on her “freedom of expression” got nowhere and her dancing cohort blaming malice for the sexual connotations was off cue. But then rascals habitually ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity, as the old maxim goes.

It is tempting to join in the frolic but we can be charitable to Mocha. If you have the time, it is quite possible to see where she or her coterie of obscure social media bloggers are coming from.

For one, a showbiz background, where disrespect for the mental capacity of Filipinos and demeaning sexual innuendoes against women are habitual sins of noontime TV hosts, helps a lot in getting at the real culprits responsible for Mocha’s mental state.

Anyway, we cannot simply dismiss this low moment in the Federalism project with sarcastic laughter, as if it is of no significance to the overall scheme of things.

The other day I was re-reading the late acerbic British political commentator Christopher Hitchens when I came upon a striking point why we cannot dismiss the small things.

“The enormous condescension of posterity” was the magnificent phrase employed by E.P.

Thompson to remind us that we must never belittle the past popular struggles and victories (as well as defeats) that we are inclined to take for granted,” Hitchens wrote.

For our purposes, the point of the quote is that the “pepe dede” video might not be a small thing: it just might be the one big thing that dooms the Duterte Federalism project altogether.

The “pepe dede” video isn’t just a pothole quickly passed over in the rush for Federalism as the project now faces troubles of a magnitude where senators are openly prophesying they are preparing its cremation in the Senate.

Added to that is the fact that the devilish details of the proposed provisions of the Federal charter is embroiled in endless complex debates that many have become debating idiots.

Added to that is also the fact that the project is caught smack in the midst of an economic unease.

It is a political truism that an atmosphere of economic unease and a runaway inflation threat is the worst time for change. Persuading people becomes harder as people are starting to think that any regime might be better than the current one.

Added to that is also the fact that no one really can predict what happens should, by some miracle, the proposed Federal charter make it to a plebiscite.

A political truism says referendums and plebiscites are inherently risky when these are rarely used and the electorate has little experience of them.

When was the last time this country had a plebiscite for a new Constitution? Well, there was the 2 February 1987 plebiscite of the current Constitution, some three decades ago.

Earlier than that was the ratification through Citizens’ Assemblies in 1973 of the Marcos constitution.

In short, a very large number of Filipinos practically have no idea how plebiscites work even as they grapple to understand what proposed changes are in store in the Constitution many do not want changed.