“It should never be about what one has but with what one shares.”

I am still trying to get my head and heart around the fact that a dear family friend of ours has peacefully passed away.

I looked at the beautiful floral vintage couch and matching comfortable chairs she had gifted me with and couldn’t stop the tears from falling. For someone who strives to travel light and constantly reminds her children to declutter, share and donate, I have stubbornly held on to this couch and two chairs.

Six years ago, when we arrived here in Australia, my husband, children and I only brought what the airline allowed us. One checked-in luggage each with a maximum 30 kilogram weight plus a 7-kilogram hand-carried luggage. It’s all you need, really.

When we found a home to move into, we soon accumulated the things we needed either through buying or through housewarming gifts from family and close friends. It never fails to surprise me how quickly things pile up. I look around my home and know instantly that it’s time to declutter again.

As I reminisce my beautiful memories with our generous friend who has passed on, I remember how almost three years ago, she had arrived at my place and I excitedly showed her where her gifts, the pieces of furniture, would go in my home. By that time, she had already sold her cozy and warm apartment, moved in with one of her daughters and assumed the role of dedicated, loving and hands-on grandmother to her grandchildren.

“She worked hard and, with open arms, shared her blessings.”

Independence seems well-prized here and some were puzzled as to why she made the move from what seemed like an enviable independent life to one where she assumed more responsibilities — a change that could be interpreted as contrary to what retirement is all about.

Having one’s elders in the same home as a nuclear family, if you ever find such an arrangement, would be a rare exception here. When she did all this, generously giving of her time and talents, our friend had no inkling that she would be facing a terminal illness a few short years down the road. I marvel at how wisely she used her time with loved ones.

Up until the funeral service to bid her farewell, I had not known that this beautiful, funny, loving and kind friend of ours had come from humble beginnings. Not that it would have mattered one bit either way. It should never be about what one has but with what one shares. She worked hard and, with open arms, shared her blessings. I remember her as my child’s generous Ninang who was amazing at baking and making us treats and cracked us up with her frank, in-your-face humor. I am so glad my family and I got the chance to tell her two months ago how much we appreciated her goodness in our lives.

On this cold winter’s day, I take off my warm beanie to honor her, determined even more to travel light. Save for the beautiful, floral, vintage couch which I will hold on to until it, too, must move on.