I have just found out from my Mama that a dear family friend of ours had been diagnosed with cancer. Our friend found out about her affliction months before, she had undergone chemotherapy, had a period of remission before she was again hospitalized as her condition had worsened. Throughout these months, Ninang, as we fondly call her, had chosen to share her ordeal only with her two children, their respective partners and her grandchildren.
On the train ride over to the cancer center where she was admitted, I thought and I prayed – I thought of the time when she came around to my new home, of how healthy and happy she looked. Of how awesome she was at baking my favorite shortbread biscuits. Of our get-togethers and how loving and generous she is to my children, especially to the one who is her godchild. I prayed that she be blessed with comfort and strength to face her illness.
And quietly, I read in my mind the simple prayer I thought I might share with her when I got to her hospital room.
When I got there we exchanged hugs and kisses. I stood close to the foot of her bed; she looked straight into my eyes and said, “I have no hope.” I was dumbfounded. Completely at a loss for words. All I could do was look back at her with what I hope was a look of tenderness, and muster every strength to hold back the tears. What do you say to someone who says she had lost hope? Where do you begin?
So I stood there for a few seconds, maybe longer, and tried as best as I could to see things from her point of view. Then, she added, “No hope. I tried to always do good and look at what happened to me.”
When my Mama rang me the day before, I had asked if it was okay for me to write a short, simple prayer for Ninang. Mama, without hesitation, said Ninang would really like that. The latter had been regularly visiting and praying at her favorite church upon learning she had cancer.
When I found my voice in that hospital room, I told Ninang that she had done so much good and all that goodness surrounded her. Her daughters, her grandchildren, all of us were there because of all the good that she had done. “We love you and we appreciate all your goodness,” I declared. “Pray lang tayo, Ninang.” She let out a small smile and we prayed.
My husband and children recently visited her, but I was overseas and unable to join them. He tells me she is much more positive and hopeful now. I am very happy to know that. It’s a sad and cruel place where hope does not seem to exist.
The thing is, one only needs to read the newspapers or watch the news to feel the hopelessness in many corners of the globe. It is easy to lose hope and lose it fast.
I had no miraculous words to say to our dear Ninang, as there is no one pill to take to heal the many illnesses in our world. But listening to how she felt, sharing with her how I felt, seemed somehow be all that was needed.
We don’t need to have all the solutions nor the right answers. Sometimes it’s enough to listen, say a prayer and feel what the other person is sharing with us. Maybe listening to another is, sometimes, enough to give them hope. Who will you listen to today?
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