Rodney, Rommel, and Rowena are 40-year-old triplets. Rodney is a candy tycoon, Rommel is a homeless addict, and Rowena is a nun. (It’s a good mix for triplets.)
Rodney, leaving a five-star restaurant, sees Rommel sitting on the sidewalk. Sensing that he seems to know Rommel, Rodney takes out his cellphone and uses an AI-assisted facial recognition app.
ROMMEL: Hey, what’s up?
RODNEY: I just found out that you are a long-lost twin brother that our dad told me about when I was a kid.
ROMMEL: At last. You must be Rommel. That fast? In 3 minutes, you found that out?
RODNEY: Yup. C’mon, I’m giving you lunch. (They enter the restaurant.) Hello, Jack.
JACK (the manager): Sir, there is a dress code in this restaurant. (Before Rodney can call the restaurant owner.) Okay, sir, no need to call Sir Henry.
Jack escorts them to a table, embarrassed as other customers glare at Rommel. Rommel’s eyes pop out when he sees the huge T-bone decorated with shiny asparagus stalks. He eats hungrily without a word, asking for more red wine.
RODNEY: I’ve been looking for you for years. Here you are, just outside my favorite restaurant.
ROMMEL: (Giggling.) Destiny. The Lord loves me. I’ve been praying a lot, you know, not for you but for me, that I get out of my rut and serve the Lord.
They go to Rodney’s mansion. Rodney has Rommel cleaned up, manicured, and barbered, now looking like a new man. He dumps half of his wardrobe in his room. Rommel sends back everything except three modest suits.
Rodney introduces Rommel to “soft drugs,” namely his own grass oil pipe and a prescription to buy more. For weeks, Rommel wallows in Rodney’s decadent affluence. He introduces Rommel to their twin sister Rowena, a Catholic nun, who is totally shocked, seeing their mind-altered state.
Sr. Rowena has Rommel kidnapped and hides him in a cloistered Buddhist monastery as a gardener, under the eyes of a hired agent posing as a monk. She warns Rommel that if he escapes, he will end up in prison. Rodney, anticipating trouble, plants a GPS tracer in Rommel’s shoe and traces his location.
Rodney launches a 20-man team to stage Rommel’s escape from the monastery. Unfortunately, anticipating Rodney’s moves, Sr. Rowena hires a journalist with a camera crew, which covers the Hollywood-style escape, instantly becoming viral on social media, then picked up by mainstream media. Rommel is now a celebrity, a superstar. He is interviewed on TV news as the “LONG LOST BROTHER OF CANDY TYCOON RESURRECTS.”
DAISY (journalist interviewer): How does it feel to soar from rags to riches?
ROMMEL: It’s not a soar. It’s a dive. I prefer to join a contemplative monastery. All this limelight is killing me.
A billionaire philanthropist, a rival of Rodney, impressed by Rommel’s spirituality, offers to make him head a foundation for terminal cancer patients to take magic mushrooms, which are known to heal deep depression. Even before he finishes his question, Rodney accepts instantly and lives happily ever after. Sr. Rowena offers to work for him, who had a dream of taking care of terminal patients. The triplets are on the beach, watching the orange glow of the sunset over a bottle of Merlot.
SR. ROWENA: I pity you, Rodney.
ROMMEL: Me too. I can discern you are not so happy as a tycoon, brother.
SR. ROWENA: Rommel and I prefer our lifestyle of service to the poor and the sick.
ROMMEL: Let’s change the name to THE GOOD SAMARITAN CLINIC. Priority for the poor, but we will accept those who can afford it.
RODNEY: Look, guys. I’m happy. So stop bickering. May I give a donation to your cause? Does a million dollars sound okay?
SR. ROWENA: That’s too much, Rodney.
ROMMEL: How about one and a half million?
RODNEY: Call, Rommel. Down the hatch, guys.
Three triplet glasses clink, and their destinies are forged.
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