A few days ago, our eldest son graduated from high school. There he was onstage — taller than me now, wearing his toga, smiling as he received his diploma. It was a moment that felt surreal. How did we get here so quickly? It felt like just yesterday he was the tiny baby who used to nap in my arms.
I also realized that Mother’s Day is just around the corner.
The timing felt strangely fitting.
As a doctor and a mother, I’ve lived most of my life balancing two identities that often pull in different directions. Like many working mothers, I’ve moved through the years with tired hands and a full heart, hoping that I was doing right by both my patients and my children.
Medicine requires long hours, precision and detachment. Motherhood, on the other hand, asks for presence, softness and the kind of emotional investment that never really stops — even when you’re away from home.
There are charts to finish and school forms to sign. Patients waiting in exam rooms, and children waiting at home. There were days I showed up to school events in scrubs, and nights I arrived home after bedtime. I’ve handled homework in between patient consults and lectures. I’ve said “Just a sec” far more often than I wanted to.
And yes, there were things I missed.
His kindergarten graduation. His sister’s first steps. Birthday cakes I didn’t get to help blow out. Bedtime stories left unread. I have missed both big milestones and small moments, and the guilt of absence weighs heavier than most things I’ve known.
But even in the missing, there was love. Always love.
I’ve come to understand that our children don’t just learn from our presence — they learn from how we live. My son has seen me as a physician and as a mother. He has watched me rush to emergencies, but also return home to help with homework. He has seen me sit quietly beside patients in pain and beside him, when life felt too big.
He may not have had me at every school event, but he had me in every important decision, every late-night talk, every moment that mattered in its own quiet way.
There were also the quiet, ordinary moments I did catch — hugs and kisses before leaving for school, car rides filled with laughter and music, movies on the weekend. These moments, though ordinary, stitched our days — and my motherhood -— together.
Now that he is stepping into adulthood, I find myself looking back not just at what I missed, but also at what I managed to hold on to. Despite the divided time, the exhaustion, the worry that I was never enough — we made it here, together.
Motherhood has taught me more than any textbook ever could. It has deepened my empathy and reminded me to pause, to listen, and to love even when life feels rushed. And being a doctor has taught me to be grateful — for time, for health, for the simple miracle of ordinary days.
This Mother’s Day, I hold space for the guilt, but also for the grace. I will honor the woman who tried, even when she was tired. I will celebrate the chapters that flew by too fast, and treasure the ones still being written. And I will hug my graduate, knowing that while he’s beginning a new journey, I will always be part of his first story.
To all the mothers who feel stretched thin by duty and love: your efforts are not unseen. The late nights, the quiet sacrifices, the showing up when it would have been easier to stay away — it all adds up. Remember that your love matters. Even when it’s not perfect. Especially when it’s not perfect. Love, after all, is the legacy that endures.