OPINION

Living for the dead

By understanding that death is woven into our lives, we can better appreciate the precious moments we share and the connections we form.

Gigie Arcilla

Loss is a universal experience that looms over us all, often striking when we least expect it. When a beloved person departs this world, we cry and mourn, feeling utterly lost — having lost a piece of ourselves.

When we shed those tears, we’re not just crying for them — we are crying for ourselves. We mourn the companionship, the shared laughs and all the moments we’ll never get back.

It’s perfectly natural to feel hollow and adrift in the wake of someone’s death. As we gear up to honor our cherished loved ones on All Saints and All Souls Days next week, we can make a transformative shift in our perspective.

Japanese writer Haruki Murakami once said, “Death is not the opposite of life, but a part of it.” This makes us rethink how we view life and death. Instead of seeing death as a tragic end, he suggests that it’s simply a natural part of our life journey. By understanding that death is woven into our lives, we can better appreciate the precious moments we share and the connections we form.

This mindset helps us find meaning even when we face loss, alerting us that every end can lead to fresh starts and new adventures.

We ask — where do our loved ones go? Do they just disappear into thin air? They’ve left this physical world, but that doesn’t mean they are gone for good. When my parents passed on, I consoled myself with the thought that there’s a place — call it a realm of light or an existence of peace — where they are free from pain, sickness, and all the struggles that life throws at us.

Sure, a loved one’s death stings and hurts. But why do we choose to suffer over their departure? Are we honoring them by drowning in sorrow? Or would they prefer us to breathe in life and carry on, infused with the love we shared?

When we come to terms with the idea that our loved ones are in a better place — happy, enjoying, and thriving — we can shift how we think about their absence. Instead of feeling that emptiness, consider it a chance to cherish the good memories, the lessons they taught us, and the love that surrounded us.

Remembering them can give us strength and help guide us through the rough times of grief.

Loving them while they were here doesn’t just stop because they’ve transitioned. Instead, we have a chance to love them even more with the richness of what they taught us.

It’s okay to grieve and feel that pain. This is not to diminish that or to lecture you to “get over it.” We all have unique ways of expressing sorrow. However, we should also recognize that we might turn the picture upside down and start seeing it as an opportunity.

Is death an end or a “second birth”? They say it’s a transition, a new journey we’ll all eventually take. Instead of focusing only on the dark side — that heartbreaking absence — can we embrace the notion that we will be transitioning to something greater?

Let us not stay stuck in grief. Instead, we celebrate our loved ones by living life to the fullest, just like they would have wanted us to. Think about how happy they’d be to see us succeed, exploring new places, laughing, and enjoying ourselves.

It’s all about turning that pain into something meaningful. Every joyful moment we embrace can be a tribute to our loved one’s memory — a beautiful way to keep their spirit alive as we progress. They wouldn’t want us trapped in sadness; they’d like to see us flourish.

Live for those we have lost. When we take those cherished memories with us, we allow them to become part of our stories. By choosing love and joy, we honor their memories by living our best lives.