Whatever the time period, there will always be some sort of generational misunderstanding. We can see this on a larger scale through Filipino pop cultural touchstones (such as Anak by Rory Quintos or Four Sisters and a Wedding by Cathy Garcia-Sampana), for example, or in smaller more personal experiences like interfamily conflicts caused by a clash of values. The generational gap, as it is called, remains. Throughout time, it has firmly divided those who run the world and those who are set to inherit it.
The generational gap represented as such seems ubiquitous and, thus, unstoppable when it comes to family. But what if it’s less of a “gap” and more of “a canyon of misunderstanding so wide, it could swallow everyone whole and leave nothing for the next generation to learn from?” Soon, you may find your family in shambles with the members walking painfully on eggshells around each other so as not to push anyone’s buttons.
What then is the solution when you’ve found that your home has become a battleground, when dinner table conversations reach only a certain level of small talk, or when you’ve compromised your values for so-called “peace” at home? Communication is a skill that is easier to learn than it is to master.
It was only in my twenties that I realized the importance of clear lines of communication when it comes to relationships. As with most situations, this lesson was learned the hard way. I realized that no matter how much my partner, family, and friends loved me, no one is a mind reader and neither am I. In fact, the event that signaled the beginning of my “being a grown-up” (as scientists say) was when I realized that I was choosing my words carefully and with the express purpose of conveying an important message to a loved one — one that simply said that I was hurt and why.
However, good communication does not simply end once the words come out. It’s a two-way street after all. For what is a message good for if it is not received? What is the use of bridging a gap when the other person doesn’t care to meet you halfway? Being a patient and compassionate listener is like catching the frisbee for it to count as a point scored.
Like I said, the skill of communication is one that is easy to learn but difficult to master, but that doesn’t mean we can’t ask for help. Tomorrow, in commemoration of World Mental Health Month, the Natasha Goulbourn Foundation in its advocacy for mental health awareness and psychological wellness is hosting a talk about improving communication across generations.
The talk will feature two lectures to be delivered by renowned mental health celebrities, authors, and educators. Dr. Maria Lourdes “Honey” Carandang, PhD, a leading clinical psychologist in the Philippines and a National Social Scientist will be delivering a lecture on Intergenerational Conversation Skills.
Afterwards, Dr. Cornelio G. Banaag Jr., an internationally renowned psychiatrist, educator, and author, will be discussing the Mental Health of Children and Parents in a World of New Technologies.
The event will give us all the opportunity to discover how to best bridge the generational gap often caused by differences in mindset, values and beliefs brought about by an ever changing and rapidly evolving social scenario.
This once-in-a-lifetime event, entitled “Bridge the Gap,” will be held on Thursday, 3 October, at the Santuario de San Antonio Social Hall in Forbes Park, Makati City.
Registration for the event will begin at 8 a.m. although I would recommend reserving seats in advance by calling (02)8897-2217, (0917)524-6453, or (0917)872-5514. You may also reserve your seats by emailing ngfmindstrong@gmail.com.