What is your idea of self-care?

How far have we gone from being made to feel guilty for prioritizing ourselves?

Long before “self-care” became a good word, thanks to Millennials and Gen Z tribes who “normalized” taking time to breathe, people just gritted their teeth and plowed on.

Surviving years of self-neglect and possibly self-abuse, some people ended up spending all that hard-earned money on hospital bills.

A lot of it comes from satisfying others’ expectations, whether it’s the family, the boss, society in general, or even one’s judgy pet. Anything that chips away at your sense of self-worth, if sustained over a period of time, will result in a “you” that you barely recognize.

Everyone has a coping mechanism, but “coping” is not always the answer. You need to stop at some point. Pause — a better way to put it. And if you make it a habit to take a bit of time to ask yourself how you are, you will save yourself a load of heartache (and doctors’ fees).

So I asked around: What is your idea of self-care? 

“Not taking a bath,” one answered so quickly, I could not help laughing. A joke, of course, but one that argues the freedom from always being perfectly put together. When you cease to care about the discomfort of others because of bad hygiene…well, that is another story.

For me, it is resting my mind out of the usual spaces I occupy, and preferably a spa or salon. Getting my nails done removes the phone from my hands for at least an hour. Having a facial or a massage does the same. Freeing yourself from the noise of the outside world, even for a while, goes a long way into clearing the junk from the mind.

This is why a serene environment is important to me. I prefer salons that are not in a mall, unless they have managed to create a sanctum that shields from the hubbub of mall activities. I also dislike hearing sounds from another cubicle seeping into my “alone” time. Even jarring music gets to my nerves. And it is why I am always on the lookout for self-care sanctuaries.

I have a few favorites that are too good to gatekeep: from the well-appointed Remedy Skin Solutions in Vertis North, with great interiors that appeal to both male and female; to the cozy Cosma Aesthetics & Lifestyle Institute in BGC, which prides itself for Dr. Jeffrey James Co’s “precision artistry;” to my latest discovery, Aivee Skin Spa at Parqal Mall in Parañaque. 

For me, the total experience covers three main aspects: Comfort, credentials and care. Comfort is about how the place is designed so that it relaxes the senses. Credentials cover the expertise and technology, while care is about service and consistency. I mean, if we are going to pay a premium for self-care, we might as well choose the best. The benefits go way beyond the skin glow.

Note: All photographs by Dinah Ventura, taken at Aivee Clinic and Aivee Skin Spa in Parqal.