Donnie Tantoco: Lessons I learned from my dad

Bienvenido “Donnie” Tantoco III, 57, president of Rustan Commercial Corporation and chairman of Stores Specialist Inc. (SSI) Group, the country’s largest retailer of some of the world’s most recognized luxe specialty brands, credits his father, Bienvenido “Rico” R. Tantoco Jr. for much of the values that had shaped his character as a grown man, a husband (to Crickette nee Yu) and father to his children: twin daughters Camille and Nicole, and son Christian, now all married.

Donnie is the first of Rico and Nena Vargas Tantoco’s seven children and the eldest grandchild of Ambassador Bienvenido “Benny” Tantoco Sr. and the formidable Gliceria Rustia Tantoco who, in 1952, founded the country’s foremost luxury shopping emporium, Rustan’s, which today has become a veritable business empire that includes international luxury brands; food and restaurants; the Royal Duty Free Stores, and property development.

Respect for women

Among the attributes that have been embedded into his character by his father are a deep respect for women, starting with his mom, the serenely elegant to-the-manor-born Negrense, Nena Vargas. “My father showed us how much he loved and respected my mom; daily, I saw him put her preferences above his in many things,” he said.

“If my dad was super in the mood for, say, German cuisine, but my mom wanted Chinese food, he would readily accede to eat Chinese. He knew that being a working mom was tough, and he wanted to make my mom’s life as joyful and as stress-free as he possibly could,” Donnie added.

He grew up closely bonded with his father, whom he recalled “was childlike with us kids; he did not come home looking like someone tired from work, which I’m sure he was — he would get on the floor with us and teach us to do push-ups.

“On occasion, he would wake me up on a Friday night and say, ‘Donnie, do you want to have a midnight snack?’ His dad would heat a can of sausages, which father and son would share.  And sometimes, they would go to the Hilton (then along Padre Faura, in Manila) “for foot-long hotdogs in an all-day café at the hotel basement.”

Conversations

Also precious to Donnie were his one-on-one conversations with his dad, who would weave such nuggets of wisdom as “never right a wrong with another wrong,” and “always have a back-up plan to your back-up plan” in their talks.  “Those lessons I remember to this day,” he said.

Indubitably a hands-on dad, Rico Tantoco is described by Donnie as an “edutainment kind of dad,” whom he once overheard tell his mom, “I have no barkada because my kids are my barkada.”

 Other than music and golf — the family owns Sta. Elena, the lush, challenging Robert Trent Jones Jr.- designed 27-hole golf course in Laguna recognized by Golf Digest Magazine as one of the Best 100 Golf Courses Outside the US, which is also a certified nature sanctuary by the Audubon Society — Donnie says his dad is “passionate about nature and the environment.”

“He did his part in water conservation,” he said. “He planted millions of trees in the 1970s.”

Donnie recalled going with his dad once to some remote area in Luzon where the latter was undertaking a reforestation project. “It was not a very safe place; we had to meet with communities that were cutting down trees since these provided them with firewood, their only source of livelihood,” said Donnie.

So there was Rico Tantoco, scion of a wealthy family, whose capitalist roots would have made others of his ilk fearful for their safety in the jungle, encountering people whom Danny believed were “(members of the) New People’s Army.”

Unconcerned for his safety

Donnie recalled his dad being unconcerned about his safety. “He used conversation; I watched him dialogue and connect at a human level with people I think were NPA leaders. They loved my dad. I remember them holding a party in his honor and I said, ‘Dad, you are having a Communist party,’ and he just smiled.”

Was his father ever vexed with him? Was there anything Donnie and his siblings did that triggered anger in his dad?

“My dad wanted, most of all, for us to be humble, to never feel entitled. Even just a little sign of arrogance in me would put him off,” said Donnie, stressing that his father was “generally kind and patient, but he came down very hard on us when he saw a lack of humility.”

“Grateful and fruitful stewards” of life’s blessings were what he said his father desired to see in his children. “It would break his heart if he saw us become arrogant, working and living in a way that only brings glory to ourselves,” recalls Donnie.

Likewise, he added, his dad wanted “most of all for us to be strong men whose hearts are in the right place. And I had to pass certain tests to be considered a man.”

He recalls being asked by his dad to go down a deep mine shaft because the latter wanted Donnie to overcome his claustrophobia. Then there was the time when, shortly after taking off the training wheels from his bicycle, “he made me ride my bike in EDSA; I was sure I’d get into an accident, but I didn’t. That gave me the courage that I still have today.”

Demanded excellence in work

Growing up, he saw his dad work with a mother who demanded excellence in work, the late Glecy Tantoco who parlayed a business that started with upscale branded footwear, apparel and other goods being sold in her posh living room in San Marcelino, Manila into what is known today as the country’s leading institution in luxury retail.

“My dad is an awesome businessman, but more than that, he is a family man. He’s 80, but he still works hard, the source of his work ethic being his great love for not only his wife and kids, our spouses, his grandchildren and great-grandchildren, but also his employees whom he treats like members of a second family.”

Over and above traits that were deeply inculcated by his dad — curiosity, a sense of adventure, courage to get out there and be counted to support a worthy cause — Donnie’s father hammered into him to care more about others rather than oneself, “to look into the mirror and say, today, as in every day, is not about myself.”

On this special day, celebrating Father’s Day, Donnie says he would like to thank his Dad “for being the best example I know of a man who makes sacrificial love a fruitful and even joyful way of life.”