We never had to call it anything

We met back in 2009, in high school, though we were never classmates. Ours wasn’t the type of friendship formed over shared homework or seatmates’ whispers. It started quietly, almost forgettable, during the era of group messages (“GMs,” as we call them). The golden age of textmates and network promos. I can’t even remember who messaged whom first. All I know is, our conversations just started flowing, and they never really stopped.

We clicked instantly. Same humor, same rhythm. It felt effortless. At a time when everyone was caught in the whirlwind of first crushes, prom dreams and the teenage chase of what we thought love was, we found something else entirely: Comfort.

Back then, I liked someone. Really liked her. The kind of like that made you write song lyrics on your arm (sometimes poems at the last page of seldom-used notebooks) and check your phone every five minutes. It stretched on for years, even if it never really went anywhere. She, on the other hand, had her own string of suitors — the kind of girl everyone noticed, and rightly so. But somehow, amid all of that noise, we found a quiet space where we could just be ourselves.

Looking back, it was strange but special. We weren’t each other’s person, not in that way. But we were each other’s person when it mattered — at 1 a.m., after a bad day, or when the world felt too heavy for one pair of shoulders. I never had to pretend around her. She said she felt the same. And maybe that’s why it worked.

In college, life kept moving. I studied engineering. She pursued marketing. I got into a relationship that lasted two years. She found her prince and built her own fairytale. Still, we talked. Not every day, not with the same intensity as before, but the line was always open. When we did reconnect, it was like flipping a switch — the familiarity still there, untouched by time.

But somehow silence crept in.

Not the kind born from hurt or misunderstanding, but the kind that happens when you grow up. My college relationship ended. I met someone new at work — someone who would eventually become my wife. She, on the other hand, became a mother.

Life rearranged our priorities. Deadlines replaced diaries. Sleep trumped late-night calls. The messages stopped, mostly. A few greetings here and there, a quick “Kamusta?” during birthdays or holidays, but nothing like what we had before. Messages were left seen with no reply. We drifted. We moved on.

But after 10 years, out of nowhere, we found our way back. Maybe it was a random message. Maybe the universe just knew we needed each other again. I can’t even tell this story accurately. Basta whatever it was, we picked up right where we left off, as if no time had passed at all.

And it’s funny because I never thought that kind of friendship was even possible. Usually, stories like ours go two ways: either you fall in love and give it a label, or you grow apart and never talk again. Ours never followed that script. We never had to call it anything. It just… was.

There’s something rare about a connection where you’re not expected to perform. Where you can be vulnerable without consequence. Where you can talk about your relationships, your struggles, your regrets, and know you won’t be judged or misunderstood. We talk now, possibly the same as before, but often not enough. And when we do, I still feel that same quiet comfort from high school, the kind that doesn’t ask for anything in return.

Her child is growing up fast. I’m not a ninong, not officially. But if ever she needs someone to stand in, I wouldn’t hesitate. I’d be honored, actually. And I know she’d do the same for my future kids. No questions asked.

People often say that platonic friendships between men and women are impossible, that someone always ends up wanting more. Maybe that’s true in some cases. But not in ours. The cluelessness of our youth could’ve made a chance to redefine things, to blur the lines. If there was, we didn’t take it. And I think that’s what made it last. We respected the boundary because we valued the bond more.

This kind of friendship is hard to explain, harder to find, and almost impossible to replicate. It doesn’t demand attention. It doesn’t thrive on labels. It simply exists — quiet, steady and true. The kind that survives missed calls, unread messages and years of silence. The kind that doesn’t fade with time but quietly waits until you need it again.

We’ve both changed. We’ve both grown. We are VIPs in our chosen fields. But somehow, we’re still the same two people who found solace in late-night texts and unspoken understanding. I’m grateful for that. For her. For us.

I hope everyone finds a friendship like this at least once in their life.

Something that doesn’t need a name to feel like home.