Silent battles moms wage

Nothing quite feels like a mother’s love — it’s warm, quiet, and often built on sacrifice and silence.

For many Filipino mothers, love isn’t expressed through hugs or bedtime stories. Sometimes, it arrives through long-distance video calls, balikbayan boxes filled with instant noodles and chocolates, and soft sobs over a lonely dinner after a double shift.

For Mai Ramones, a single mother and former overseas Filipino worker, love meant lying.

She lied when she said she wasn’t hungry — so her daughter could finish the last slice of cake they bought together. She lied when she said she wasn’t tired, even after scrubbing floors all day, bearing the weight of both a man’s and a woman’s work on her slim shoulders.

She made those lies her truth — because she had no other choice.

Ramones’s story is one of millions, and it cuts deeply. When her daughter turned two, her marriage ended. Alone and without a steady income, she faced a heartbreaking choice: stay and struggle, or leave and provide.

She chose the latter. Leaving her child in the care of grandparents, she flew to Europe to work as a caregiver for an elderly couple.

Like many OFWs, she juggled multiple part-time jobs just to get by. Life overseas was a maze of isolation and hard labor. The language barrier made even simple tasks daunting. Many days were marked by cold stares or quiet discrimination.

She worked tirelessly, picking up extra shifts to save for her child’s needs. But the emotional burden weighed heavier than the physical toll. She often thought of giving up — but always thought of her daughter.

Mental issues

One of her most painful confessions: she dreaded caring for children. Not because she disliked them — but because tending to someone else’s child felt like a betrayal, with her own an ocean away.

Her struggle isn’t unique. A study by Dr. Veronica Ramirez, presented at the National Brain & Mental Health Research Symposium, revealed that female OFWs — who make up 58 percent of the overseas workforce — are especially vulnerable to mental health issues.

Depression, anxiety, PTSD, and suicidal thoughts are alarmingly common. The research underscores how OFWs are hailed as heroes yet remain unsupported — especially when it comes to their mental health.

Ramones reached her breaking point after several years.

She came home for a short vacation, expecting joy. But her daughter clung to her and cried, “I don’t want money, Mama. I want you.”

That moment pierced deeper than any homesick night abroad.

When her daughter entered Grade 4, she came home for good. She left her job in Europe and chose a harder but more connected life.

Back home, survival took a new form

Ramones turned to entrepreneurship — selling clothes, groceries, even school supplies. She invested in farming. Every peso she earned had a purpose: her daughter’s future.

When her daughter passed the University of Santo Tomas entrance exam, Ramones didn’t hesitate. She enrolled her immediately, lived frugally, and gave up her own comforts so her daughter could study well and live better.

Her sacrifices were mostly invisible — months with only coins in her wallet, nights awake with worry over tuition and bills. But she never let the hardship dim her love.

Victory at hand

All her efforts paid off when her daughter graduated with flying colors, filled with pride and gratitude.

It was a victory not just for her daughter, but for herself. The late nights, the hidden tears, the choices no mother should have to make — all led to that one shining moment.

Now, with her daughter’s future secure, Ramones is learning to focus on herself again.

After years of putting her life on hold, she’s rediscovering who she is beyond motherhood — exploring hobbies, running her small business and, for the first time, resting without guilt.

The lies she told, the meals she skipped, the loneliness she endured — these have quietly built a future she hopes will be brighter for the next generation.

In the Philippines, 95 percent of solo parents are women. Like Ramones, many carry their families on their backs with little recognition.