Transcending grief

Grief is a natural response to loss in one’s life. While it may be an emotional suffering, it manifests in many ways in the human body. 

The pain of loss is real and is a palpable one. Because all emotion becomes physical, the initial reaction to the loss of a loved one can come in the form of:

•Shock and disbelief —  “No, this cannot be.” 

•A feeling of being powerless due to the circumstances.

•A sudden rush of emotions from guilt to profound sadness.

•A sense of fear — ”Life will never be the same without her/him.”

•A feeling of being left behind — “I am all alone now.”

•Sleeplessness — restive sleep

•Loss of appetite

•Muddled thoughts — lack of clear thinking

Sources of grief

There are many reasons why we grieve. The most common are:

•Death of a loved one

•Divorce or relationship break-up

•Miscarriage

•Death of a pet.

•Loss of health

•Losing a job

•Loss of financial stability

•Retirement

•Loss of a feeling of safety after a life and death situation 

•Loss of a friendship

•Loss of the family home

•The end of a cherished dream that never happened

•Serious illness of a loved one

•Personal reasons like the nostalgia from transferring residences, graduating from high school and college, living abroad.

Coping with loss

It is normal to go through a mourning period. Whatever the reasons for your grief, they are valid. 

1. Acknowledge your pain. Do not ignore it. Cry if you must. But if you cannot cry, it’s ok, too. Face your grief — confront it. 

2. Take your time. Healing knows no deadline. Some people may take years to overcome grief, while others can let go after 12 months. 

3. No need to publicly “appear strong.” People who care will not fault you for being human. 

4. Move on when you are ready. This does not mean that you will forget the person or situation that brought you pain. 

5. Keep the memory. Yes, the pain of loss will be replaced with loving memories that will fill your mind and heart with happiness.

6. Connect again with your family and friends.

7. Communicate and mingle with others. Try to socialize once again. 

8. Support groups — Join a Grief Management support group. Hearing others share their stories can help you all heal together. 

9. Know the difference between grief and mourning from depression. Seek professional help.

10. Self-care — Look after your physical and mental health. Do not neglect yourself. 

11. New chapter — You are entitled to start a new chapter in your life. And for those who have lost a loved one, yes, you can and will love again if you so choose to. 

Affirmation:  “I will live and love again.”

Love and light.