My co-worker ‘unfriended’ me

Dear Editor,

We were officemates and had worked together for more than two years. Suddenly, I stopped seeing her posts on Facebook. I got curious, so I searched for her name on FB, and voila! Below her profile picture were the words: Add Friend. It meant she had “unfriended” me. Initially, I did not feel anything. I didn’t care if she had removed me from her list of friends. I had lost nothing. I was still alive despite it. Then it dawned on me.

I asked myself: How could she “unfriend” me? What had I done? Admittedly, I was offended that she had “unfriended” me just like that. I supported her businesses. I bought a lot of stuff from her. I even introduced her to a lawyer who specialized in land reform laws and policies when she had problems with her family’s landholdings. I worked with her very well. This is not to say that I expected her to owe me a debt of gratitude. I just felt betrayed.

When I checked her FB account, I saw that we had several “mutual friends.” She and our former officemates (including the aforementioned lawyer) were still friends on FB. Why did she “unfriend” me? This question remained unanswered. Should I even look for an answer? As far as I was concerned, I did nothing wrong to her. I didn’t know if she had inadvertently “unfriended” me.

Recently, we bumped into each other in a restaurant as I was rushing to leave. She engaged me in conversation. I took it as a sign that she was not avoiding me. We talked about our old jobs. We laughed about silly things. We also discussed our new jobs. I didn’t bother to ask her why she had “unfriended” me. She didn’t explain herself either. Maybe she didn’t know that I knew she had deleted me as her FB friend. Or maybe she did.

Whatever the case, it doesn’t matter anymore. We just pretended it never happened and moved on with our lives. I eventually learned that she had gotten married. Presumably, her husband was the one who “unfriended” me. Maybe he wanted to limit the number of his wife’s male friends.

In this digital age, one click is all it takes to gain and lose friends. Therefore, we should be careful when adding friends and accepting friend requests. In real life, friendships are not established overnight. They are built on trust, honesty and loyalty. It takes many years to gain one’s trust and confidence and to prove one’s faithfulness.

Choosing a friend can be tricky sometimes. Even the word “friend” is used casually today. What we see on FB and other online platforms can deceive us. Having a thousand friends online is preposterous. Realistically, no one can maintain a huge number of friends unless they are a celebrity or a politician.

Our expectations are not always our realities. Just because a follower “liked” or “loved” your post doesn’t mean they truly liked or loved it. The ones we consider our friends online are not our friends in the real sense of the word.

Social networking sites have been beneficial for those in long-distance relationships. Homesickness is alleviated because of these sites. Keeping in touch with our loved ones is made easy by apps that provide video calls. Be that as it may, let us use these digital platforms sparingly. While social media can bring us together, it can also draw us apart.

Leonard Kristian Mesa Gelacio

San Fermin, Cauayan City, Isabela

leonardkristianmesagelacio@gmail.com