Deconstructing divina: The legal eagle as a family man

“I concur,” he said, eyes twinkling at what might be construed as an impertinent question, though not for Atty. Nilo Divina, who gamely took on a barrage of questions from the Life staff.

He was asked, “Do you ever say ‘I object’ to your wife every time you have an argument?’”

Dean Divina, as he is popularly called in the DAILY TRIBUNE offices, laughingly said it does not hurt one’s manhood to agree to his wife if it would keep the harmony.

The DivinaLaw Managing Partner and University of Santo Tomas Faculty of Civil Law Dean was being feted in the paper’s Makati headquarters for his big win at this year’s Stevies’ 2024 International Business Awards -- one of the most coveted recognitions worldwide.

Among other accolades, Atty. Divina was the lone recipient of the Gold Award for Achievement in Web Writing/Content for his A Dose of Law — a regular biweekly column published in DAILY TRIBUNE every Monday and Friday.

Of course, DAILY TRIBUNE celebrates this big win. After all, A Dose of Law has published 656 articles since its inception in June 2018, garnering over three million page views. The column even bred a Spotify podcast and TikTok series.

DAILY TRIBUNE officers, editors and staff gathered around Divina, congratulating him for his latest success, peppering him with questions such as those that the Life staff cooked up to dig deep into the man’s cool, unruffled exterior.

Here go some parts of the conversation:

DAILY TRIBUNE (DT): Do you exercise?

Nilo T. Divina (NTD): I do exercise. I have a treadmill at home. I mean, the gym is just in our floor.  Twenty minutes every day.  There are days that I would spend one hour in the gym with a trainer. Then I go to the office at 10 a.m. or 12 noon every day for meetings, reading emails, etc. At 3 p.m., I go to UST. That’s my routine.

DT: Typically, your day is full. 

NDT: Very full.

DT: Do you eat breakfast? 

NTD: Yes, I eat breakfast.

DT: What do you like to eat for breakfast? 

NTD: Actually, I don’t really eat breakfast. Ahh, well, I eat because the doctor told me that I have to have something in my stomach before I take my meds. So, I would take egg whites or half of it, and then coffee. One-fourth cup of coffee. That’s it for breakfast.

DT: But you like food, apparently.

NTD: Yeah. I’m a foodie. That’s why I put up restaurants (Café Aurora, Nilo and an upcoming pares place). 

DT: Do you eat rice? 

NTD: I don’t eat rice. I avoid rice. Every time I travel, I make an appointment to go to Michelin-starred restaurants. I would just ask the concierge, “Can you please take me to the Michelin-starred restaurants?” Or “Can you help me get a slot or a table in the top restaurants in the city?” I compare the restaurants and get some ideas. And if they are positive, I mirror the food in our restaurants.

DT:  What cuisine do you prefer? 

NTD: Chinese.

DT: Michelin-starred Chinese is rare, right? 

NTD: Yes. I go for Chinese, Spanish, Italian. Of course, Filipino as well. 

DT: Do you cook? 

NTD: No, I don’t. Someone cooks for me. 

DT: If you could have dinner with any dream personality, who would it be? 

NTD: I would like to have dinner with the Pope.

DT: What would you tell him? What would be your conversation with him? 

NTD: How do we win the non-Catholics to our side? How do we persuade them that our faith is the true faith? The Catholic faith, I would say. And the Catholic Church is the only true church. But, how do we convince or persuade them without being antagonistic, without being dogmatic, without being pedantic? Based on statistics, Christians account for one-third of the total population.

One-third, of course, is a big achievement for the Catholic Church. But two-thirds is still a big number to have. So, if we can get the Muslims, the Taoists, the Hindus, the Hinduists and the Buddhists, then there will be great unity.

We only have one God, right? But we have different beliefs. So, that would be my question to the Pope: How do we get them to our side? 

DT: How do you pray?

NTD: I talk to our Lord as if He is my friend. It may sound not ordinary, but I bring everything to my prayer. Before I make a decision, I bring it to my prayer. How do I respond to this? How do I react to this? There are joys and sorrows, victories and defeats, right? How do I react to all of these situations? Please teach me how.

My prayer is very personal. Of course, you will not hear Him talking to you, obviously, but you would get inspirations. And then you act accordingly.

DT: What do you do if there are unanswered prayers? 

NTD: There’s no such thing as an unanswered prayer. It’s a matter of seeing God behind that supposed unanswered prayer. Perhaps you need this because He has a better plan for you. At the end of the day, my favorite line is, “So what?” Joys, so what? Defeats, so what? Sorrow, so what? Joy, so what?  It’s all a question of converting every moment, every opportunity, every event.

It’s a chance to be with God, to see God behind all of this. It may sound spiritual, right? I’m not a priest, but that’s how I see things. 

DT: What’s the most important lesson you learned from your mom? 

NTD: To pray. For a lawyer, it may sound strange, but I consider prayer as the strongest weapon. That’s why we have a chapel in our law firm. We’re the only law firm in the whole world with a chapel.

I find strength in prayer. You may not believe it, but if I want something, even for a case, I pray for it. Of course, I work for it.  At the same time, I pray for it: “Help me to win this case. Help me to get paid (laughs). Help me so that my client will understand that my fees can be expensive, but worth it for the client.”

But that’s how I look at it. Like a child, talking to his father or talking to his mother. That’s my approach.

DT: Do you recite the rosary? 

NTD: Every day. 

DT: In the car? 

ND: I have a time for it. Sometimes in the car, sometimes in the office. I have my chapel. So, nothing is wasted for me. Every moment, every minute always counts.

DT: What about from the local scene, who would you want to sit down with?

NTD: Probably Rizal. 

DT: What would you ask him? 

NTD: That’s a good question. Hmm, please confirm that you went back to the Catholic faith. That, I would ask.

DT: Has there been a point where there is a conflict in your cases and faith? 

NTD: Yeah, yeah. There should be no conflict, right? For you to win a case, there might be some conflict. We’re very fortunate that our clients are top conglomerates, mostly corporate. Socially responsible, right?

It’s not a question, but the profile of our clients should match with the company’s profile. 

DT: Do you discuss your cases with your family and kids? 

NTD: Yes, I do. You’d probably be surprised. Yeah, I do. I get their thoughts because I have two boys who are taking up law.

DT: Also in UST?

NTD: Yes, in UST. 

DT: Of course, you have seen Philadelphia starring Tom Hanks and Denzel Washington?

NTD: Yes, yes, yes.

DT: Have you encountered anything similar? 

NTD: We’re very inclusive. I think we’re the only law firm where eight to 10 percent of our lawyers belong to the LGBTQ community. We’re inclusive in that regard.

DT: Is there one piece of legal advice that everyone should know but usually overlook? 

NTD: Legal advice? Don’t do anything you’ll regret later on. Don’t do anything stupid so that you won’t regret later on…

DT: What’s the best piece of non-legal advice you’ve ever received? 

NTD: I have been guided by the philosophy that you must work as if everything depends on it, and push forward as if success hinges entirely on your effort.

DT: If your life were a court drama, who would play you? 

NTD: Court drama, who would play me? I can’t think of no other actor to play myself than myself (laughs).

DT: Do you have any hobbies that people might be surprised to know about? 

NTD: None. I don’t have any hobbies.

DT: Do you have a work-life balance? 

NTD: Of course. I make it a point to spend time with my children. I would go on out-of-town trips with my sons, individually.

DT: Why is that so? 

NTD: So that my time would be undivided. They have my complete, undivided attention. I remember there were occasions in the past that I would travel with all of them, and everybody would like to talk to me. I feel like switching my head from one direction to another. I don’t know who to talk to because all of them are very talkative. All of them have so many questions. So, I just spend time with my boys — individually, one-on-one.

We have a group family outing, but I need to spend time with my sons. And I have lunch and dinners also with them, one-on-one. Every Sunday, of course, we are gathered for a family dinner on weekends. And if I have the time, on weekdays, I have one-on-one also with them. They have different concerns. They have different issues.

DT: You get to know them more — their anxieties, worries and fears. 

NTD: Yes, my eldest is already 30 years old. My second is in college. My third son graduated from AMA. My fourth graduated from law school and will take the bar next year. My youngest is also in law school.

DT: What kind of satisfaction or high do you get from doing what you’re doing now? 

NTD: Satisfaction? Of course, the compliments like the best lawyer, best professor, best team. I would get these comments from different persons. It’s so heartwarming to get these messages. It’s not true, of course, but you get the impression that you’re good in what you’re doing — as a dean and a professor.

My son would always tell me that I am the best father.  My wife would tell me I’m the best husband. You get that kind of feeling that you’re the best in what you’re doing.

It may not be true, but it gives you a certain sense of comfort and satisfaction. But you’ve got to be proud about it, and you elevate this to God.

Of course, all the glory to Him. 

DT: Dean, how do you teach? Do you hold it like you’re holding a good court?  Socratic method. 

NTD: I teach review courses. And you cannot finish the course if it is all in a question and answer.  So there are times or moments for Q&A. But most of the time, a lot of it is for lectures. 

DT: How do you avoid lawsuits?

NTD: If you’re a government official, read the law on anti-drug and corrupt practices. But then, you cannot avoid lawsuits. My advice is to get a very good lawyer.  Also, when you’re a doctor, a medical malpractice, you would need a good lawyer.

DT: When was the last time you cried? 

NTD: The last time I cried? The last time I cried... When my eldest son, out of the blue, embraced me and said, “I love you very much!”

DT: That’s so sweet. 

NTD: Out of the blue, he just went to me and embraced me. I did not cry, but my eyes got moist. I didn’t expect it.

DT: How long have you been married? 

NTD: Thirty-three years now.

DT: If you have to write a law about relationships, what would be its clauses?

NTD: You have to guide yourself to reach that state of being in union with the same person for 33 years, right?  What are the clauses? Is it number one? “Yes, darling.”

Submission. It’s easy for me to just say yes, right? As long as it’s not a sin. Life is a lot simpler if you just say yes.

As long as it’s not against morals, right? I mean, you don’t lose your masculinity or your machismo because you say yes, right? You have more peace of mind and you have more contentment knowing that you have sacrificed your ego, your will, just for the benefit of the person you love. 

DT: How about for parenting? 

NTD: I have five boys, no girls. In parenting, there is no formula. I mean, everyone — every son, every daughter, every child — is different from the others. You just have to adjust, depending on their traits.

I think the rule of thumb is forget about yourself.  If you forget about yourself, then things are a lot simpler.